I Spy With My Little Eye
by stphne
Summary: Sasuke is a top rated spy, Hinata is a top rated assassin. Both are use to completeing their missions mostly by themselves. However, when the two are paired up with each other as a couple they must learn how to act as a team.
1. Intro

Hey everyone

Hey everyone! Okay so while this may not be my first attempt at a fanficiton, it is, however, my first attempt at a _multi-chaptered _fanfiction. I have to say that I got this idea in a dream, which is kind of wacky. But it involved Sasuke and Hinata walking into my bathroom (How they got there I'll never know…) and then they heard a noise coming from inside a cabinet under a sink. They peer inside and lo and behold, it's Shikamaru and Sakura underneath the sink. And then Shikamaru and Sakura make the shushing noise, and then a whole bunch of shuriken flew through the window and my dream-brain made the revelation that Sasuke, Hinata, Sakura, and Shikamaru were spies. (I really don't know why I was dreaming of this.) But, unlike my dream, this fanfiction will only have one crack pairing. (Or at least I _think_ ShikaxSaku is a crack pairing…) Thanks to theinnocent1 for putting up with all of my messaging and helping polish it. She's pretty much amazing at grammar and what not. (Man this is a really long author's note.) Oh, and I have nothing against Ukraine and Ukrainians.

* * *

Kai Yakimoto is what some would call a nerd. He works at a dead end job in a store that is a haven to others similar to Kai. Kai originally was hailed as a genius; he attended one of the most prestigious colleges and had one of the college's most prized male athletes as a dorm mate and best friend. Kai had a wonderful girlfriend as well and to many this could be considered a perfect life. But as all perfect things are, his idealistic life was fleeting.

Within the course of 6 months his perfection was destroyed. His girlfriend fell in love with his dorm mate, subsequently causing her to cheat on Kai with his dorm mate and thus ending the relationship. Later Kai was kicked out of said prestigious college for reasons Kai does not wish to remember, although they had nothing to do with that tramp of a girlfriend, as his sister would say.

These series of events brought him to his current situation; a party his overly concerned sister threw for him for his birthday. His sister, Kimiko, decided he needed to get over his ex and move on.

"Ohmigosh! You attended that college!? _I attended that college_!" A bubbly blonde exclaimed, "Do you remember what that one guy's name was? Broke three track records and was a top kendo and judo player? Um..."

"You mean Sasuke?" his tone held resentment toward the successful man, "He was my old dorm mate."

"I wonder what he's doing now…"

"I heard he was a banker," he spat, "somewhere around Los Angeles."

A man with coal hair dressed in a black tuxedo swiftly ran down a shady hall with identical looking doors on either side of it. Hearing some voices, he quickly dove though a door way. He reached down in his jacket pocket and pulled out a pistol raising it up slightly and switching off the safety. The voices got louder and the dark-haired man could faintly make out what they were saying. "And then she said, 'Sorry, I don't date scum like you.' And she walked away! Can you believe that! I'm not scum…" the thick Russian accented man said boisterously, probably talking to an American dealer as he escorted him to that appropriate room. _Not that there will be much to find in say, about 50 seconds,_ Sasuke thought looking down at his Rolex

To say the least, Sasuke Uchiha was not a banker. Nor was he anywhere near the Los Angeles area. Sasuke was currently single-handedly taking down a branch of Ukrainian drug and weapons dealers. He had to get out of the building and according to his watch he had about 45 seconds to make that happen. Looking about the room, Sasuke noticed a window at the end of it. He quickly walked over to the window and opened it. Somewhere with in the bowels of the building an alarm rang. Mentally cursing himself for forgetting the alarm system, he jumped out of the window onto the roof below. The sound of about 4 men's feet echoed behind him as he moved into a sprint.

Sadly the chase was cut short as Sasuke was cornered against the edge of the building with another building's wall at his back. It was too far to jump down, unless he wanted to break both legs and then probably get captured and tortured until he died, so that left one other option, fighting, four against one. Sasuke looked down at his watch; 25 seconds to knock them out and get out of the area. Enter generic bad guys numbers one, two, three and four. Sasuke positioned himself down into a fight stance and smirked as all four came at ones. This was going to be fun_._

A woman with dark brown hair teased into an elaborate style and even darker brown eyes slowly whisked some green tea in a bowl. She wore a traditional Japanese kimono in light blue that had cranes as its pattern and kneeled on tatami floors. Japanese tea ceremonies were her specialty.

She looked to be about 25, as did her co-host, although sometimes it's a little hard to tell age under all the ornate make up they wore. Her co-host, who was dressed similarly to the first woman, although with hair a lighter shade of brown and bright blue eyes, gracefully played a koto, ensnaring the attention of all the men in the room.

The first woman gently set a tea cup down in front of each man, making eight cups in total, meaning there wasn't much tea in the eight cups. "Please sample the tea to make sure it is to your liking; we are here to please." The shorter, darker female said with a blush. Each man quickly picked up their tea cup and sipped until their tea was gone.

"Ahh! Miss Yuki, could I please have mor-" the man started but oddly slumped over mid-sentence. And, as if playing Follow-the-Leader, the other seven men quickly followed suit.

"Well, Miss _Yuki_," the blue eyed woman teased while pulling of her brown wig only to reveal bright golden hair, "They sure went down fast."

"Well, they weren't being very aware of their surroundings," began the shorter girl, her now free blue-black locks swinging behind her, "And they _were_ rather pitiful assassins; it only took one of us to distract them. We didn't even have to get them drunk."

"Actually, I prefer them sober. At least then they aren't groping us."

"Ah, a very excellent point Ino-chan."

Some footsteps were heard outside one of the shoji doors connecting to a hallway. "Ne, maybe we should get going Hinata…" Ino started.

"Yes, we probably should." And with that, both girls leapt out the opposite shoji door leading to a scenic traditional garden and disappeared into the night. It took another two hours before someone found the eight corpses which the government dealt with swiftly and efficiently.

* * *

Hinata slowly walked down a small, beat-up hall. The numbers 13, 15, and 17 flashed by on her right while the even counter parts flashed by on her left. She stopped at a door labeled 19 and slid her key in. The door languidly opened and she stepped in and turned on the lights revealing an apartment nicer than one would expect to find in this building.

Old exposed bricks with blue and green paintings made up one wall while the others were either painted a medium blue or a medium green. A dark brown rectangular couch behind a mahogany coffee table and flagged on either side of it was matching brown chairs all on top of a cream rug. The rest of the floor was a dark wood matching the hue of the coffee table.

Hinata moved though the room after closing the door and hanging her scarf and coat on the hat hook. She tossed her keys behind her as she moved towards her bedroom; the kitchen was on the other side. A chinking sound was heard after she left the living room signifying that her key safely made it into a bowl on top of an end table next to the door.

She passed by her blinded windows, her plush purple bed, and cherry armoire and into her sterile white bathroom. Turning on the nearly florescent light and walking to her mirror, she quickly examined herself. A round pale face with brown eyes looked back at Hinata as she sighed and looked down to examine the sink. Then, violently jabbed her fingers into 10 random tiles on the wall, the mirror slowly began to extend from the wall as well as the painting of a watering can opposite of the mirror reversing to reveal multiple guns, sebon, shuriken, and katana.

Little shelves popped out of the back of her sink filled with vials of unknown liquids; poisons. Hinata wearily took out her brown contacts, storing them in a container labeled creatively named 'brown' and placing it back with several other similar looking containers located behind the mirror.

She spun around and walked out of the room, shutting off the lights as she went causing the bathroom to revert to its normal self. She walked across the living room into the kitchen, grabbed the phone and dialed a number. "Hello? Yes, I would like to place an order; the special for one."

* * *

Tell me what you think! I just had to leave it on that sad note; such a good closer. I'm not sure if I should continue it, I thought it was interesting, but then again everyone who dreams about random ninja attacking spies, who then turn it into a story would think it's interesting -.-'. I'm not sure how long this story will be, should I continue it at all. In fact I'm not even sure where I'm going with this story, but I know certain things I want to happen. PM me with your ideas, don't worry I'll give you credit if I use an idea. And I admit, I took part of the beginning from Chuck the TV series, -sobs- I'm such a failure!

* * *


	2. Weakness

Hinata strolled though a pair of doors. "Table for one?" a small girl with maroon-red hair asked as she moved to grab a menu.

"A-ah, yes." Hinata murmured, gently occupying her fingers by poking them together. The girl grabbed the small menu and headed to a table in front of a window. She set the menu down, roughly took Hinata's drink order, said enjoy and stalked off.

Hinata shook her head at the service, but then again, this wasn't her favorite coffee shop for that reason. Her reason came in the form of a human; a male human to be exact. The redhead brought her drink as she scanned the small shop, looking for him, the cheerful blonde with the blue eyes and the ever-constant smile.

Luckily, since she delt with secrets on a daily basis, she knew how to stalk people without actually stalking them, such as she had gathered from women around her that he's always cheerful and single among other things.

A sigh escaped from her mouth as she turned her head away from the beautiful boy and began watching people pass by on the busy streets, an over cast sky above the monotony of tall skyscrapers seemed to cast a dreary light upon the city reminding her of darker times.

**"You're a failure!" A resounding slap echoed though the air. "You will never amount to anything with all the weakness you contain!" His voice was filled with malice. "You're not fit to run this corporation. Hell, your younger sister is more qualified to run it than **_**you**_**!" A tremulous Hinata stared at the floor trying to contain her tears. **

**"Never show weakness; never feel weakness." Heavy footsteps echoed down an empty corridor followed by quiet sobs of desperation; for escape.**

The memory flashed though Hinata's mind; her once serene smile replaced by a slight frown as she slowly touched her cheek, her fingers coming back unexpectedly dry.

People scurried by, clutching onto their hats, scarves or miscellaneous belongings lest they be blown away by the powerful gusts. A person caught her attention; her sharp eyes darting over his figure quickly and efficiently. She pulled some money out of her purse to pay for the cappuccino as well as the tip. As she turned to leave she gave a parting glance at the blonde-haired boy, slightly disappointed at herself for needing him. A spy should not have such a touchable weakness. She had a feeling Headquarters would want to know about the strange man she just saw.

* * *

Sasuke paced the halls in front of a heavy oak door. He did not like where this was going. His partner, Shikamaru, had been in that room for quite a while. That was either a very good sign, or a very bad sign. Or maybe his pervert of a boss was just showing him some new porn he found. Either way, Sasuke didn't like where this was going.

His partnership with Shikamaru was not a typical spy partnership. Shikamaru thought up the tactical plan and Sasuke executed them, no pun intended. He huffed. Sasuke was sure could do the tactical part of the mission as well, but then what would Shikamaru do? He was too lazy to be an actual spy, although he did have some moves just incase he was found out by whomever they were spying on that night. The knob turned on the oak door and Sasuke cocked an eyebrow. "What happened in there?"

"He called me in there, to show me porn." Shikamaru sighed, "How troublesome."

"That's it? What a waste of time." Sasuke replied almost in the same tone.

"Well, that's what took up the majority of the time. It seems to be that we're going to go undercover with another agency's spies." He handed Sasuke one of the two manila folders he came out of the room holding.

Sasuke's folder carried a considerably smaller stack of papers inside. "That's your partner. Mine seems…more troublesome than yours. Although I had a choice between yours and mine, I'd choose yours."

Sasuke only had one thing to say about this assignment: "She better not be annoying."

Sasuke leaned against a building in what he hoped looked like a natural pose. He had tracked his target to this location, although he didn't have much practice in being inconspicuous. He assumed it wouldn't be that hard: just blending in with the scenery and people. But that was the key word: _assumed_.After all, the kind of work Sasuke was used to was more action than anything else.

He glanced around himself hoping no one was looking at him, but to his frustrations all the women passing by him were staring at him. Some only glanced at him, which wasn't so bad, but there were some who looked like deer in headlights. One woman even ran into a parking meter and then somersaulted over it, hitting a car's hood in the process causing it to go off. After that happened Sasuke decided he better move. He looked both ways before quickly making his way across the street, holding his stereotypical spy hat with one hand so that it wouldn't blow away, and run under an awning to a coffee shop only to find that his target had disappeared.

"Damn it." He cursed; it had already taken him 5 hours to track her down the first time.

* * *

Hinata arrived at a non-de script gray building that served as headquarters for both herself and Ino as well as 8 or so other women spies. Opening the door, she immediately felt the eyes of 30 plus cameras swivel to watch her every move and evaluate the level of danger her presence carried.

She walked to the end of the hall and slid her key card through a slot near the door and it made a soft clicking noise, signifying the door had been unlocked.

Suddenly the door burst open before she could get one hand on the handle and a flying projectile crashed into her body squealing something similar to "Hinata-Chan!"

Groaning as she pushed herself off the floor, Hinata looked up onto the face of Ino, aka the flying projectile. "Hinata! Where have you been?!"

"Getting coffee?" replied a very confused Hyuuga, she had only been gone for 20 minutes.

"I missed you!" cried Ino, latching herself onto Hinata and proceeded to start crying.

"It's um…going to be okay?" Hinata comforted awkwardly, pondering Ino's moodiness. "I really need to talk to…"

"Yeah, okay." She cut Hinata off, "Just talk to her secretary before though: she's been kind of on edge." Ino slowly released her death grip upon the small female and backed away two or so feet.

"Okay, Ino!" And with that Hinata strolled through the still open door into a mess of twisting hallways until she reached a sunny warm room filled with plush couches and sunflowers. A woman was sitting behind a neatly organized desk typing on her computer. "Ah, Shizune-san. Do you think I could see Tsunade-sama?" The woman glanced at the agenda next to her.

"It seems like it would be okay, she doesn't have an appointment until later today." She pushed a button on her phone announcing Hinata's presence to Tsunade.

"Send her in." replied a slightly slurred woman's voice from the telephone.

Hinata immediately walked to the double cherry doors, grasped the handle and went in.

As her eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room in front of her she heard a voice call out, "Did you bring more Sake?"

"Was I supposed to?"

"Damn." Hinata looked curiously at her boss. It was hard to believe that this woman, along with two other undisclosed persons, was once one of the best spies in the world.

"Tsunade-sama, I spotted another spy today in out territory. What should we do?" Tsunade's eyes squinted upon hearing that another spy was lurking about her territory.

"Tell me, did this spy have black hair shaped like a duck's butt?" Hinata nodded, although slightly put off by the rude description of the man's hair. "And was he also ridiculously good looking?" Blushing heavily, Hinata once again nodded in the affirmative. "I can't believe you don't recognize your new partner." She said in disbelief before pushing a button on her phone and pleading for more sake to Shizune.

"N-Nani?"

"Yeah, I lost a bet and now you and another spy have new partners. Now: where did I put that bottle?" she explained as she dug through her desk drawers.

"A bet." Her eyes widened in disbelief at immaturity of her boss' actions. Tsunade popped up again, this time holding what sounded to be a half-empty bottle.

"Yeah, you just have to help them with a few missions." Tsunade narrowed her eyes again, "Didn't I tell you this?"

"N-No!"

"Oh." She picked up three folders from her desk and tossed them to Hinata before taking a swing from the bottle, completely draining it. "Masel tov. The one on top is your new male partner, the one in the middle is a female team member, and the one on the bottom is your team member's partner." And after that explanation she fell into an alcohol induced slumber.

Hinata opened the top folder and began scanning the contents inside the folder. Snap shots of the man she saw earlier lay on top and other miscellaneous information lay under that on a piece of white paper. It was times like these that she really blessed her photographic memory.

She snapped the file closed and briskly walking out of the room to inform Ino about the changes as well as inform Shizune of Tsunade's little 'nap', slightly impressed by her future partner. Realization suddenly dawned on her that Tsunade said 'female team member' meaning that Ino wasn't going on this mission.

Hinata reached for the middle file and opened it, curious to see whom it was. **Haruno, Sakura **was boldly printed at the top of the page. Sparkling green eyes, silky pink hair, flirty contagious smile, and nice curves; everything you could want in a girl. She was the model of a perfect female spy. Hinata was slightly amused, it had to be some bet Tsunade lost in order for her to lose both Sakura and herself. She walked the rest of the way out of the room. She still had to tell Shizune about a certain someone napping, and go 'find' her new team member.

* * *

Special thanks to all of my reviewers:

**MoonIdiot:**-gasp- I read your Fanfictions too! I think I already told you this though... -.-'

**Tehcrazykatlady:**Ah, your hilarious views crack me up. Semi repetitive sentence there; but that's okay. I whole support your crazy cat lady-ness, in fact I'm planning on becoming a crazy cat lady myself, except with ferrets instead of cats.

**Paranoia Stricken:**That's an um…interesting name? I didn't really talk to you much, I can't even remember if I thanked you for your review, so here it is: THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! I love you. (Not really, I'm not that creepy).

**theInnocent1:**Oh my god, I worship your emails. (Once again, not really. I worship cookies). I don't know what this story would be like without your comments and corrections on grammar and what not. If you were a man I'd offer to have your babies. (Not really again, I don't want to be pregnant at this stage of my life) (But I love you anyways.) (Platonically that is.) Props for you!

**Show.me.the.stars.:**My computer hates your pen name! I don't know why though…but yes, I as you can see I already planned some Sakura and Naruto into this um…story? But thanks for the review, I came home and I was like "Oh me garsh! A review!" (Yes, with the R. Feel the specialness) Thanks for the review.

(Haha, my computer wants Tsunade to be sundae!)


	3. Attack

Hola! Yes it's me again, I'm not sure what happened but I got this one out really quick. I was like "Check me out!" I guess that's what happens when I don't have any homework over the weekends. Anyways, I would like to personally thank theInnocent1, tehcrazykatlady, and MoonIdiot because they send me the most amazing emails, PMs, and reviews a writer could ask for. (Haha PMs is spelled the same as PMS.) The title came from one of my favorite songs, but no competition on what that song is since it's obvious what it is (I mean, the title of this chapter is the title of the song). Oh and this update wasn't read over by anyone else but me, so if something's grammatically wrong, I'm sorry. I reread it multiple times, but sometimes that just doesn't help. -.-"

Okay, so some of you that have me on your alerts list might have noticed something saying that Perfectly Perfect has been updated. This is not so. I put thought that story was this story and mess up that whole thing, but now it's back to normal. So sorry about all the emails...I really didn't mean for that to happen. Man, I really tried to cut back this time on the author's note too...oh well, mabe next time.

Disclaimer: (Score! I remembered!) The only thing I own is a shirt that has a Taco saying "Hola" and a box of French Fries saying "Bon Jour!" which basically means I don't own Naruto. Or any Naruto collectables, which is really sad if you think about it since I am writing fan fictions about them.

* * *

Hinata walked through the door of her home and scanned it. It wasn't as though she expected there to be someone there; it was more of a habit than a precaution. Knowing that she would have little time to eat since she planned to track down Sakura tonight, she walked into her kitchen to grab a quick bite. Her kitchen was a simple kitchen, nothing too elaborate and the only similarities Hinata could find between the kitchen of her childhood and her current kitchen was that both stoves ran on gas. Hinata would always end up in the kitchen at least once a day, whether making some tea to sooth her frazzled nerves or if she was in the mood for some cake. Hinata sighed remembering times when she once called the cold mansion home as she stared at the space in front of her. She remembered how when she first moved in half the cabinets either had no doors, or the doors were falling off; they were also painted some god awful shade ranging between puke green and baby poop yellow; a very large contrast to the sterile stainless steel and white theme of the massive kitchen at her childhood home. Now all the cabinet doors in her apartment hung proudly on their hinges, and each were painted a nice soothing color somewhere in between blue and white, which was not only an improvement to the apartment when she first arrived, but also an improvement compared to the impersonal kitchen at the Hyuuga household as well. The walls, which had seemed stained a permanent yellow, were now a light blue with little bright yellow accents, and over all, the kitchen, no _her_ kitchen reminded her of the beach. She walked over to her left-most cabinet and grabbed a can of soup. She opened the can, put it in a plum colored bowl and began heating it in the microwave as she moved towards her room. After all, you don't expect a spy to go stalking in her day clothes do you? 

She opened her closet next to her armoire and took out two articles of clothing; a black form fitting long sleeved shirt, and some black pants made out of warm, but flexible, material. Throwing her hair up into a ponytail, she moved her clothing to one side of the compact closet and reached towards the back. Two cool strip of leather hung up on a hanger, just past her reach from her current position _'If I shove my clothing a little more to the left…'_ her fingers wrapped around one of the two belts, quickly pulling it down and wrapping it around her small waist tight enough that it didn't fall down, but loose enough that it hung onto her hips diagonally. Hinata immediately began patting the multiple pockets on her belt, making sure everything that she needed was there, and more importantly, that she grabbed the right belt. She smiled to herself since, when you think about it, the belt was kind of ridiculous. It looked like bat man's utility belt, only upgraded and more stylish.

Somewhere in the background her microwave beeped, but Hinata was too busy noticing the disturbance of air next to her ear to take note of that. She quickly raised her hand and caught the in coming foot heading straight for her head. She grabbed the stiletto-clad foot and twisted it onto its side causing a loud cracking sound to from the foot, turned and kicked the perpetrator in the gut across the room causing her face to crash into the edge of a frame on the wall. Hinata began walking towards her; however, she overestimated the amount of time it would take the attacker to get up because she felt a sharp pain burst from her lip as she fell to the floor, her lip bleeding. She swung her legs around and knocked the attacker from their feet and as their head neared the floor Hinata roughly pinned her attacker face down and pulled her arm up behind her back. She grabbed a fist full of the perpetrator's silky hair and lowered her mouth to the other woman's grimacing face and whispered "Hello, Sakura-Chan; how nice of you to drop by."

"Just hurry up and release my hair; it hurts."

"Hai, Hai." Hinata climbed off of the unfortunate girl on the floor and walked over to her perturbed lamp and switched it on while Sakura walked over to Hinata's small vanity mirror in her bedroom and began touching the blooming bruise on her face.

"You've improved since I've last seen you. This is going to take a lot of make up to cover up; next time don't pin your opponents down so hard." Sakura said, still looking at her bruise in the mirror.

"What if they're trying to kill me?" Hinata questioned, running her hand across the bottom of her lip to wipe off the small trail of blood.

"You honestly don't think I was trying to kill you? Besides, you recognized me."

"It was good training."

"What?! That's all I am to you!?" Hinata heaved a heavy sigh; this was going to be one long assignment.

* * *

Sasuke wondered down a side street, his hands shoved into the pockets of his trench coat and his black scarf fluttering behind him. He couldn't figure out what he did wrong, he followed what he remembered about reconnaissance from when he was first trained, but she still disappeared. It just had to be his astounding sexiness that scared her off; no other explanation made sense. 

He adjusted his darkly shaded sunglasses, trying to see anything in this dim alley. The sun was just starting to set and many people were scurrying to get to their warm houses and to their families. He sighed and finally took of the glasses, sticking them into his right coat pocket, which was the only place left free. All the other pockets had multiple weapons in them.

Disgruntled about the lack of action, Sasuke eyed the surrounding buildings. He wanted to go to his apartment, and the quickest way to do so was to go by means of rooftops. In large cities with numerous buildings smashed against each other in the competition for space traveling by rooftop was not only one of the fastest ways to move, but also one of the safer ways. Plus it provided a much needed release for physical tensions. He spotted a fire escape near him about 10 feet up. He sprinted towards the ladder and when he was about 4 feet away jumped and landed on the third rung from the bottom. He scaled the ladder and the following step to the roof of a maroon colored building. He determined which way was home and began running across the swiftly running across roofs and launching himself to the next when the roof began to run out.

He was close to his rented apartment with Shikamaru when a soft flash of dark blue caught his eye. He skidded to a stop and saw a woman wearing all black fighting another similarly clothed woman. The first woman's long black-blue hair whipping through the air with each attack. Sasuke couldn't help but think of the way the blue haired woman's attacks were so fluid, like water in motion. He was so enraptured with it he barely made the connection that said blue haired woman was his new partner, and also that there was a flying shuriken speeding toward his torso, determined to make impact. Sasuke fell to the ground just as he a voice questioning "Hinata-Chan? What's wrong?"

A short pause followed the question before a soft voice answered "N-nothing Sakura-Chan, just my i-imagination." A soft click signified that the window had been closed.

* * *

Large opal eyes fluttered open as the first rays of sunlight touch Hinata's face. As she stretched a slow smile began to appear on her face but was quickly replaced by a groan of pain. She ran her fingers over her bottom lip, wincing when it came in contact with her cut. Throwing the covers off of her the cold began to settle into her pajama clad body as she quickly made her way towards her bathroom. She closed the door and turned on the water; the room slowly began to steam up. Stripping quickly, she stepped into the shower and let the water cascade down her body, slowly relaxing it into the beating drops while she thought about how to properly take care of busted lips. 

After dressing in dark wash jeans and a grey buttoned hooded cashmere sweater over a bright red shirt, she put on some brown stiletto boots and walked out into her living room. A small squeak of surprised escaped her lips when she saw the tip of a bright pink head sticking out over a pile of blankets. '_I suppose I should wake her…but she looks so peaceful…_' She tried to reason with herself about waking the sleeping woman up. Suddenly the pile of blankets started groaning.

"God, I feel like I was hit by a train." Hinata looked fondly at the yawning female, remembering many missions the two were sent on when they had first joined the agency.

"Well, you shouldn't sneak up on people…" she softly started

"Especially if they're a spy, right?" Sakura finished with a sigh

Hinata quietly giggled, "Would you like anything for breakfast?"

"What time is it?" Sakura questioned as she started to rub the non-bruised side of her face.

"About 0800 hours."

Sakura stop rubbing her face as her eyes widened "Shit! We're going to be late!" She leaped out of bed and started going though Hinata's closet.

"Ch-Chotto Matte! What are you talking about?"

"I told Tsunade-sama we would be in her office at 0800!" She said as she began pulling on random clothing articles found in Hinata's closet, but still managing to make them look amazing.

Hinata looked alarmed; "We're going to be late!" she cried as she and Sakura ran out the door, barely remembering to lock it behind them.

* * *

About the 0800 hours thing, I used it because I know that military runs on Zulu time, so why wouldn't spies? And honestly, twenty-four hour time makes more sense since you don't have to say AM or PM. 

And yes, my lovelies, it's that time again. It's specialized review time! I don't think I got many reviews this time, but then again, there wasn't as much time in between the two postings so…I'm not that sad.

But before I do that, I think I'll have random song recommendation. This update's random song is 'Friday, I'm in love' by The Cure. I love that song, but I'm not saying that it would say that this story goes along with that song. It's just a random song recommendation.

I tried my hand at an actual action scene; tell me how it went. I mean, I kinda have to get good at action scenes since this is a spy fanfic, and spies tend to fight and shoot guns a lot. And was it just me, or was that fight scene kind of...homoerrotic at the end?

Show.me.the.stars.: My computer still doesn't like your pen name! Oh well, I (almost) couldn't care less about what my computer likes and dislikes. Besides, I love your reviews. And your pen name reminds me of this book I read in fifth grade called Number the Stars, which was a kind of boring kind of depressing book. But I still love you, as a person. And spies are amazing, and that is my dream job. I mean seriously, traveling around (for free), getting to be all undercover and stuff? I mean, if it wasn't against some people morals I'm sure everyone would want to be one.

Runjumpfly07: My computer actually likes your name! And I thought that was pretty interesting about how you asked if I went to a boarding school, although I can't figure out what gave you that idea. I did, however, go to a prissy private school for three years. And I am currently in all honors classes except math.

MoonIdiot: I love you! hug No joke, your emails…they are…amazing. Motivation in writing, I swear, and if I could access my email account right now, I'd give examples of said motivation, but sadly my email isn't working.

Tehcrazykatlady: Now I have instructions on how to achieve my goal! And when I get my ferret one day, I'll tell it about the poor girl who couldn't get one because it was illegal where she lived. And then we'll share a sad silent moment in honor of you and your lack of ferret, and after that maybe he'll gnaw on my finger, we'll just have to see. I love long reviews! It gives me something to do when I'm not writing and a lot more to message you about at a later time!


	4. Ulterior Motives

I'm sooooo sorry I took so long putting this out! I had a show choir competition (which my choir won, go us.) and I also had many essays to write and many projects to do. And because I am so sorry, I have written you (the readers and reviewers) a beautiful story at the end of this chapter about a pink unicorn named Charles.

* * *

As Sakura and Hinata ran down the hall, fearful for their lives, Hinata suddenly remembered Sakura's leg cracking last night. "N-n-ne Sakura-chan? Didn't I break your leg?" She stuttered out while silently cursing her choice in shoes today.  
"Nani? You broke it?! No wonder why my other shoe wouldn't fit!" She replied as she ran down the hall as fast as she could with her limp and one shoe on her foot and the other in her hand. 

"S-Shouldn't you be in excruciating pain right now?" Hinata incredulously pondered aloud.  
"High pain tolerance; one of the reasons the company recruited me." Sakura replied as she limped down the stairs as quickly as possible with a broken leg and one shoe on, "I'll just get it checked out at the medical center when we get there."A loud whistle sang through the air as Sakura attempted to hail a cab, causing three cabs to stop near the pair for the sultry woman with an injury. The flustered pair speedily climbed in the cab as Sakura cried, "Meridian and 82nd; please hurry." The taxi sped off, cutting of a number of cars in the process; a miracle in its self that they didn't get into an accident just pulling out into traffic.

* * *

Sasuke had heard that some spies liked to take souvenirs of the person after they successfully killed them. He was currently reclined in a plush chair in a darkly lit room while his cold calculating eyes glanced over every item, evaluating what could have very well been one of the aforementioned. His gaze landed on a large meticulous looking ship sitting in the middle of a high shelf on a very masculine book case. From the dark varnished wooden hull and canvas sails to the little glass portholes, the ship looked sea-worthy, if only it were about one hundred times larger and not in a glass bottle. Sasuke didn't understand why people felt a need to collect these items; after all, collections of this sort could get a man killed. 

A door slammed as an old man walked into the room yelling at whoever was on the phone, "I don't care if you think it's crude and perverted! I want it published and I know many ways to render a man useless if you get my meaning! Go to an adult book publisher?! Why I…wait, actually that's a good idea." He snapped his phone closed with a click and whirled around. "I suppose you're here to see me about when you meet your partner?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and replied with his trademark neutral phase: hn. "I'll take that as a yes. You're suppose to meet the two…very nice…ladies today. They should be arriving at any minute."

Once again the door burst open, revealing…Shikamaru? A sigh seemed to ooze from the walls of the room, and clear disappointment written on Jiraiya's face. "Were you expecting someone else?"

"You're late!" Barked Jiraiya, still annoyed it wasn't the 'nice girls'. Shikamaru slunk into the room, muttering something along the lines of troublesome mornings.

* * *

Tsunade took a swing of the large bottle in her hand; the clear liquid sloshing to either side of the bottle. A harried young woman gently pleaded with her to stop drinking being as it was about 8:30 in the morning. "Please Tsunade-sama! At least wait until after lunch!"  
"Nonsense!" she exclaimed, taking another swing of the bottle, "Now where are those damn girls? I told them to be here 30 minutes ago!" 

The door flew open as a blue-headed girl lunged in and a pink-haired girl hobbled in a few minutes later "Thanks for waiting for me, Hinata!" Sakura shot off as soon as she caught up to the blue-haired girl, panting slightly.  
"G-gomene, b-but y-you were taking t-too long!"  
"Girls, would you care to explain why the hell you were so late?! And what the hell happened to your leg, Sakura?!" Both newcomers looked to the ground sheepishly as Sakura began to rub her arm.

"Well, you see, Hinata and I kind of, sort of, slept in? And Hinata and I greet each other roughly?"

"So basically Hinata kicked your ass after you attacked her and then you forgot to tell her about today's meeting?"  
"If you want to put it so bluntly…" A large sigh escaped the slightly inebriated woman.  
"You have a meeting with Jiraiya, or should I say, your new boss for the next few months. You two should go see TenTen to receive your weapons for this mission."  
"Weapons?" Sakura asked, stumped at the inconsideration of the other company, "Shouldn't the other agency be providing weapons?"  
"Well, they're an all male agency so they don't have the correct armor for you two as well as the fact that I'm assigning you two a mission on top of whatever missions Jiraiya gives you two."

"This mission would be…"

"I want you two girls to spy on that agency. Gather information about the agency, blue prints, you know the deal. Report your findings to me at the end of each week you're with him."  
"Hai." Both female spies replied dutifully before heading towards the large double door to go see TenTen.

"Oh! And Sakura?" Tsunade asked as the cotton candy haired girl stuck her head around the corner, her face shining with hope that maybe Tsunade made a mistake and she was to jetted off to a mission somewhere far away from here.  
"Yes?"

"Stop by the nurses' station to get your leg fixed."  
"Hai, Tsunade-sama." She glumly replied before ducking out of the office. Tsunade smirked and went to take another swing of her Sake, only to realize she was out.

"Shizune!" Tsunade called to her secretary who had at one point of time snuck out of her office.  
"Hai! What is it?"  
"I've run out of Sake; get me more." Tsunade demanded, starting to frown at the bottle that was devoid of any alcohol whatsoever.  
"Hai." Shizune heaved a huge sigh. She had a feeling today was the beginning of a very long day.

* * *

"So in conclusion, I need you two to report whatever the two ladies are doing at all times. Whether they're taking a shower or eating a cookie, I want to know." He paused for a moment, seeming to be in deep thought. "Actually, especially if they're taking a shower; it could be good material for my book."  
"Ch, dirty old man: get someone else to do your work." 

"But you two are _spies_ if this should be easy for anyone, it should be you two!"

Shikamaru just stared at the old perverted man, who was still half in a state of dreaming, yawned and said, "When are we meeting them anyways?"

A long pause followed the question, seeing as it was directed to the old man who was now totally in a dreamland involving many naked girls showering in the same shower.

"They were supposed to be here 45 minutes ago." An emotionless voice answered.

"How troublesome."

* * *

Charles the Pink Unicorn and His Splendiferous Adventure: 

Once upon a time in a land forgotten by most and where many creatures, believed mythical to us, roamed as free as the birds in the sky lived a pink unicorn named Charles. Charles was a unicorn who enjoyed structured life. He did not like rainbows, nor did he enjoy pots of gold, and, if he could, he would wear a tan colored sweater vest over a crisp white dress shirt. Charles' home was always neatly organized; everything had a place, and everything was in its place. However, Charles had a fetish, a _pile_ fetish. If there was ever a group of papers or books lying willy-nilly on the floor, Charles would have to put it into a neatly organized pile with the largest on the bottom. One day as he walked through the forest, Charles came across a bunch of papers, scattered about the ground, all willy-nilly. Above the papers rested a sign, loudly proclaiming in large font "DO NOT TOUCH THE PAPERS!" Charles couldn't stand it! He _had_ to fix the papers. Sweat began to form on his brow as he debated about what to do. To pile, or not to pile, that was the question! Charles' pile fetish won out. He reached towards the pile very slowly and gently touched a paper. He scooted it in with the rest of them when suddenly a blur sped out of the forest and knocked him over!  
"CAN'T CHU READ FOO?! THE SIGN SAYS 'DO. NOT. TOUCH!' THAT MEANS DO. NOT. TOUCH!" The blur then proceeded to beat Charles relentlessly, for one should not touch what one is told not to touch.

* * *

I am so proud of myself, my story had a morel. That was written on Friday night as my parents yelled at me to go to bed because I had to be up at 4 AM to get to school to get on the bus, and I don't sleep well with curlers in my hair. Um, I guess it's reviewer time.  
**eight88:** Do you like the number 8? It would seem so. Thank you for the comment, and I agree. It's pretty wicked. And I just _had_ to let Hinata kick Sakura's gluteus maximus.  
**tehcrazykatlady: **Yes, I enjoyed that part too. Sasuke is just so egotistical. And yes, if you say it, it must be true! Chicken soup? I'll have to go make some. Tetanus shots seem like a good idea, thanks. Hats are rather devious. I mean, just look at Meet the Robinsons. Didn't that hat try to take over the world?  
**Show.Me.The.Stars:** Now your name is reminding me of 'Show me the money!" I think I might be putting off the difficulty of making them meet. How lazy of me. And yes, the other day I said something and someone threatened to beat me. Then again, it was my friend so she might have been joking. Maybe. (And I like anou sa too!)  
**Runjumpfly07:** Um…thanks for pointing out that Sakura should have a broken foot. Really, I wouldn't have realized it. I go to school from 7:35 to 2:05 on Wednesdays; however I normally go from 7:35 to 2:50 on normal days, so only a 45 minute difference.  
**MoonIdiot: **huggles you backI flippin' love your emails. Don't wait too long! Your eyes might die…  
**theInnocent1: **Sasuke? Traumatized? Never! hides Sasuke's twitching knocked out body in closet and Beating people is the best way to un-traumatize people! 


	5. Cripple

Hey everyone! Look! New chapter! Today I was typing out the word Neji, but word didn't like it and one of the suggestions for it was 'Nejd'. My immediate thoughts were: "Is that what happens when you become Neji-like? You've been Nejified, or Nejd for a short hand version?" I really don't know what I was on when I was typing it.

Disclaimer: YES! I remember, again! Go me! I don't own it…ladies.  
(Haha, Demitri Martin, Jokes on a Guitar. Go watch it, NOW! It's amazing)

* * *

"This watch here is your last piece of equipment," explained a small girl with two buns on either side of her head and, truth be told, Hinata thought she looked like a panda. She was trained in all things that could be used as a weapon, form of communication, or that was just technologically advanced, "it could be used as a homing device and communicator to Sakura's identical watch."

To put her in a nutshell, TenTen was the weapons master for her agency. In a way she reminded Hinata of her cousin, Neji, only more personable. She always planned to set them up one day, of only she could figure out how.

TenTen placed the watch atop the already mountainous pile that was Hinata. Hinata was currently carrying all the technology that Tsunade had deemed 'necessary', although when TenTen began talking about the birds and the bees, Hinata drew a line.

"TenTen! W-what do you t-think we'll be d-doing?!"

"To quote Tsunade directly, 'You never know what will happen on a mission, that's my motto. I can clearly recall this one time when I went on a mission, there was this super freaking hot French man, and let me tell you,'" TenTen chuckled deeply, as to badly imitate Tsunade chuckling, "that was one night I'll never forget. First we…" Hinata chose this moment to squeak loudly and protest the continuation of the story, "Which is what I wanted to say, but Tsunade was in one of those moods."

"B-but really," she gulped, her face now doing a wonderful impression of a traffic signal, "s-s-s-sex?!"

"Well, he may be a pervert!"

"Chigau! Tsunade would never pair me with someone like that!"

"Really?" TenTen asked thoughtfully, causing Hinata to pause in her defense and think about it carefully.

"O-okay…maybe she would…" she trailed off.

"Ha!" cried TenTen in triumph.

"But that d-doesn't m-mean I would!" Hinata barely got out before a loud squeal of 'Hinata' resounded from in the room and a blur, that can be correctly identified as Ino, tackled Hinata into the ground and for the items she was carrying to be tossed into the air and onto the floor.

"Hinata, where have you been?! Are we going on a mission? Where's it to? I wonder who's going to be there, I hope it's not that bitch Sakura…"

"A-ah, Ino, gomene. We're not going anywhere; I got assigned to a different team."

"What?!"

"Gomene! Maybe we could hang out s-some other time?"

"Damn straight!" Ino paused in her speech of outrage as a thoughtful look crossed her face, "I know! Take me to that coffee shop you always talk about!"

"Eh?! I-I really d-don't think th-that…"

"Nonsense," Ino cut off, "besides, this way you can see Naru…" Ino's eyes slowly narrowed into a glare as she trailed off her sentences. "You!" She shouted, pointing a finger at a hobbling figure that happened to be Sakura.

Sakura's head turned sharply and upon seeing who had spoken, narrowed her emerald eyes as well, "Well, look here! Look at what the slop brought in, Ino-pig."

"At least I have a sense of modestly and don't advertise what little assets I have, Billboard-Brow." She retorted looking up and down Sakura's small form and tsking, "So much space, such little lumps." Sakura drew in a large breath of air in preparation for what Hinata was sure to be a very lengthy retort.

Deciding it was best to intervene, Hinata quickly said, "H-hai Ino! We'll get together for coffee after work! S-Sakura, We need to go meet Jiraiya-sama, n-ne" She began picking up the gadgets and stuffing them into Sakura's arms, despite the fact she had crutches and the small noises of protest she made, and began pushing Sakura out the door, waving goodbye to Ino and TenTen at the same time, "B-bye TenTen, I'll see you some other time!" Hinata paused for a second, "N-ne, I think there's an antique weapons show case next week, we should go to that!" And with that Hinata completely disappeared form the room, leaving one very confused TenTen and one fuming Ino.

"What was that about?" asked TenTen.

"Ugh, I don't know, and I don't care!" cried Ino before storming out of the room in the opposite direction of Hinata and the pink haired witch.

* * *

Sasuke could feel his eye slowly begin to twitch. He had waited for the damn girls for over an hour, where the hell were they? He had better things to do than wait for two, probably, obnoxious girls. Stuff like polish and sharpen his swards and throwing knives collection. Sasuke casually looked over at his two companions to see what they were doing. Shikamaru, predictably, was sleeping, while Jiraiya was, also predictably, looking at a trashy magazine and chuckling to himself. Rolling his eyes, Sasuke tried to remember what he was doing before he got himself angry. After finally remembering what he was doing, listing the ways to kill a man with your bare hands, starting with the fastest and ending with the slowest, when suddenly he heard the sound of female laughter coming from the hallways. He briskly strode to the door and threw it open, revealing two girls, one of which was sprawled on the floor, while the other stood laughing at here. "Hinata!" whined the first, "Help me up already!"

"G-Gomene, S-Sakura-chan, I f-forgot that it's c-considered impolite to not help up a cripple."

Sakura's eye visibly twitched, "I am not a cripple!"

"I-I don't know, Sakura-chan, you look pretty crippled to me…" the darker girl trailed off before looking up. Her eyes visibly widened.

"I am not a cripple!" Sakura demanded before noticing Hinata's preoccupation with something behind her. Her head slowly turned as she fell into a shocked silence. Hinata was the first to recover the power of speech, but during the time Hinata and Sakura were talking Shikamaru and Jiraiya had come to the door and now stood behind Sasuke.

"K-konichiwa, Uchiha-san, Nara-san, and Jiraiya-sama." She greeted, giving them all slight bows. Sakura still sat on the ground, star struck by the fine example of male perfection in front of her.

"Hi, I'm Sakura and I like cloth!" Four heads slowly turned to look at the girl on the floor. Her face slowly began to turn red as her mind registered what it had just said.

"Ch." Sasuke turned around and strode thought the open doorway. Shikamaru simply shrugged his shoulders and followed Sasuke's lead. Jiraiya, on the other hand, still stood in the door way, curling and uncurling his fingers. His eyes were clouded over as he quietly chanted "Girls, girls! Wonderful, playful, real girls! In my building!" Hinata, slightly disturbed by the old man, helped Sakura stand up and upon getting to the doorway, passed though the as far away from the man as they could.

Jiraiya finally snapped out of his perverted thoughts and walked around to sit in his large spinney chair. The perverted boss could feel the tense air surrounding the four spies as he cleared his throat to talk. "Well…despite the awkwardness in this room, I have yet to tell you your actual first mission." He stated, noting the looking of surprise flit across the bright, fit woman's face. "Yes, first. Did she not tell you that it would be 'missions'? As in the plural form of mission?"

The darker, shyer, but Jiraiya could still tell, more voluptuous woman vividly shook her head, "S-she told m-me, p-perhaps Sakura-chan was st-still shocked at being lost in a b-bet?"

Unfortunately for Hinata, her save for Sakura backfired as the current subject was staring at Hinata's partner, far too lost in her daydreams to take note of the topic. Hinata could almost see the little hearts floating around the woman as she concentrated at the increasingly annoyed Sasuke. "N-ne, **Sakura-chan**?"

"Huh?" Sakura asked as she finally came back to the living, "O-oh! Right!"

"Not very aware of her surroundings," muttered Jiraiya as the pink haired woman returned to daydreaming. Shaking his head, Jiraiya resumed his debriefing, "Although you are all top rated spies, I want to test your ability to work as a team," He paused and looked at each spy, "especially you, Sasuke," although, Sasuke merely grunted and turned away, "which is why I am assigning you an intermediate assignment." He then set 4 files on the desk, and as each agent went to take a file, began speaking again. "It would seem that a biological weapons company, located in the US Midwest under the ruse of a carpet company, has been selling some weapons to some radical Islamists. Your job is to assassinate the president of the company. The coordinates are in your files. Good luck." Hinata slowly began to stand, but before she could fully extend her legs, Jiraiya began to speak again, "Another thing I want you to do is spend time with each other tonight." He paused slightly, "Well? What are you still doing here?! MOVE!" He bellowed. Hinata and Sakura, eyes wide, shot off the couch and tumbled though the Door followed shortly after by an unimpressed Sasuke and a languid Shikamaru.

After going though yet another round of 'see-how-much-'necessary-equipment'-you-can-hold game, the newly formed squad exited the building with three or four heavy bags each. "So…what are we doing tonight?"

"Going home."

"Sleeping."

Hinata could practically see Sakura's inner anger boil; Jiraiya had given her the perfect opportunity to get closer to Sasuke, she was not going to give it up. "We're supposed to do something together!" she almost pleaded, "None of those things involve this group!"

"Shimatta!" Hinata suddenly cried, "I've got to get to the coffee shop! Gomene…" Hinata said quickly, but not quickly enough as Sakura quickly interrupted her, eyes sparkling.

"Oh my god, Hinata, you're a genius! Quick! I'll hail us a cab and we'll go there!"

"Ano…Sakura… t-that's not s-such a g-good idea," she started but was ones again cut short by Sakura whistling loudly for a cab.

"Quickly! In the car!" Sakura said as she ushered everyone into the cab, "We have somewhere to be!"

* * *

Now then, it's crack time! –does little dance- This is one I like to call 'Spinney chair surprise!'

_Jiraiya sat in his comfy chair after the group had left. He had been resisting the urge to do this since Sasuke and Shikamaru had arrived this morning, but couldn't do it because of his pride. He sharply glanced around the room, making sure no one was in there. The coast was clear. He pushed his legs out as the chair rolled back about 2 feet from the desk, and after setting his feet back on the ground, glanced around again. No one. He turned his chair slightly to the right and pushed off, causing his chair to quickly spin him around. His eyes welled up in immense pleasure, god it just felt so good. A long "Wee!" was released from his mouth as he watched his office spin by. Suddenly he heard the door creak open again and saw a dark figure move into the room. He cut his "Wee!" short and set his feet down to stop the chair, only to fall out of it once it made a complete stop from dizziness. He quickly popped back up from below his desk and asked, "What do you want, Sasuke." Sasuke stared at his boss and his newly revealed hobby. "I'll tell you what, Sasuke, you walk out of this room, and we'll pretend this never happened, deal?"_

_"Deal." And with that Sasuke turned out of the room and left, more disturbed than he has ever been in his life._

Beautiful crack right? I know!

* * *

So many reviews this time! I feel so loved! Let's get started!

**Runjumpfly07:** Eh, it kind of was. I couldn't figure out how to get down this chapter on paper! And one time, I met an author who said, "The best way to get though a writers block, is to write down all the ideas, stupid or not, and then go though later and get rid of the ones you think are stupid." And so, I am just following his advice.

**Anonymous Reviewer Demon: **I'm sorry you hate Jiraiya, but he is semi important to the story plot. And look! I posted a new chapter! Merry Chrismahannakwanza!

**Anonymous Reviewer Jackie: **Thanks! I love that you loved Charles the pink unicorn and his adventure!

**Eight88: **Heeey, you. And your number 8 fetish. Thanks for the review.

**Show.me.the.stars.: **Yes, yay Charles. He learned a very important lesson today. And I have to catch a bus at 4 in the morning because I'm in show choir.

**MoonIdiot: **Hey, I talk to you all the time! And I'm glad you're glad we won! And the breaking something and not feeling is very horror-filled.

**DarkSmile: **Scary Awesome? I've never heard those two used together before…but yes, it was. And I put it in there, because it was just that awesome, and I'm the author! Go me!

**Anonymous Reviewer Unknown: **Hey, you're unknown. And I wrote that because I was sorry for the lateness, as I am this chapter as well. And if anyone gives me either a moral, or something random to write about I'll write a short story and post it on here for them.

**theInnocent1:** Hey, I talk to you though email too! And same goes for you as the person above, suggest a moral and I'll write it. And I've been threatening to beat people with soap in a sock lately; do you think that would mentally scar them so they won't ever want to see/use bar soap ever again?

**Madteen66: **Hey! You reviewed all my chapters in one day! Thanks! And, as you know, it took me forever and a day to figure out the title name, theInnocent1 can vouch for that.


	6. Tea Time

Oh my god! I'm back! I didn't die! Happy, glorious day for all! Now, I am so terribly sorry about the lack of updates. I meant to bring my journal on vacation with me, but I forgot it at home, and I horrible memory, so I couldn't write over break. And then for the very overused, but completely true, excuse that my creativity font dried up. I totally think that my friend stole it, but lucky you! I got it back! Um. The reviewer reply list is getting really long, so I'm going to have to figure out a more space conscious way to show my appreciation of the reviews all you lovely reviewers give me. If you have any suggestions, comment/PM me about it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! I did own a pound of chocolate shaped like a Santa, but then I ate it so…I don't have it anymore.

* * *

Hinata wryly noted the ominous dark clouds hanging in the sky, and as the cab pulled up to the ill begotten café, immediately knew something was going to happen. 

"Come on guys!" whined Sakura, "Let's go get a table!"

She flung open her cab door, grabbing a very unwilling Sasuke arm and hauling him out of the cab with her inhuman strength, dragging Sasuke towards the café's door while Sasuke glared at his traitorous appendage. Hinata slowly climbed out of the cab, shoulders tense in preparation of the up coming battle, prolonging what she knew was going to be an extremely awkward and tense coffee break. She too joined in the walk to the fateful doors, somehow managing to surpass determined Sakura and an unaccommodating Sasuke.

The wonderful coffee fragrance the shop had to offer immediately wafted over Hinata as she set foot through the doors. Though the café was very dim, she could still make out two very distinctive and bright rays of sunlight that some how seemed to fill the little shop with an iridescent glow. Her shoulders slowly began to relax as she deeply exhaled.

"Hinata!" exclaimed Ino, "I was worried you wouldn't show, I mean, you were late, and you're never late!"

She paused as she struggled on how to word the situation Ino was going to been in very soon. She took a deep breath, "T-there's something I n-need t-to tell you…"

"Oh god," Ino started in shock as her eyes began to widen in disbelief, "You've secretly been producing meth in your home lab in order to flue your crack addiction and instead of going to some missions last month, you've been going to wild raves and having random promiscuous sex with hermaphrodites and now you're pregnant and the cops have found your meth lab!"

"W-what?! N-no!" Hinata frantically cried, completely appalled by Ino's story.

"Thank god! Just as long as it's not about that skank, Sakura, you have nothing to worry about."  
"Um…" Hinata was once again at a loss of words at the situation, her large pale eyes, safely hidden from public view by blue contacts, widen in distress when the café's doors opened once again to reveal a finally successful Sakura and ticked off Sasuke.

Ino's eyes began to narrow dangerously as soon as the pink headed girl entered her line of sight.

"What is she," Ino asked incredulously, "some kind of god-damn barnacle?!"

"Am not!" cried Sakura as Shikamaru finally arrived.

"Oh, then you must be a parasite of some sort, perhaps a tape worm?"

"Shut up, Ino-pig!" But to Sakura's immense confusion, Ino made no reply. Hinata, perplexed as well at Ino's lack of reply, saw her staring in slack-jaw wonder at Sasuke, completely paralyzed. Ino deeply sighed as she began pondering if she had found heaven on earth at last. Her legs, as if moving by their own accord, slowly brought her over to his vacant right arm.

"Hey, I'm Ino Yamanaka," she dreamily stated as she grabbed onto his arm.

"Get off, Ino-Pig; Sasuke-kun only likes dainty girls, aka not you."  
"Make me, billboard-brow; I'm sure that he also likes his women with a little more junk in their trunk, and not vast planes." Ino maliciously retorted, pointedly staring at Sakura's lack of 'junk', subconsciously tightening her grip on Sasuke's arm.

"Shut up. Both of you." Sasuke finally interfered, before ripping his arms out of their grasping limbs and glaring quite viciously at the two women, setting the two women at each other's throats again.

A bright headed waiter finally appeared as the two women settled to glaring at the other, "Hey, I'm Naruto, and I hope you guys are ready for the most amazing coffee experience ever!"

* * *

Hinata sighed deeply yet again. Sakura and Ino were, once again, fighting over Sasuke, while Sasuke stood silently, getting ever more annoyed by the two girls, and Hinata's prayers of desperation to any deity who heard her to let this coffee rendezvous go quickly and painlessly have so far gone unheard. Shikamaru lazily dragged his feet a good table's length away from the whole group and, worst of all to Hinata, Naruto didn't look twice at the small, darker woman, instead opting to desperately try to receive the attentions of the bright goddesses before him, who were too busy fighting over their Adonis to even take note of him. Placing her head on her forearms, Hinata briefly wondered if this could get worse, before realizing that, in accordance with Murphy's Law, it always can.

* * *

By the end of the day, Sasuke was sure that, if not needed for reproduction, the world would do perfectly well without women, and, given the chance, Sasuke would love to renegotiate his contract with Jiraiya to include a clause forbidding any form of collaboration with the all female agency. But, being as Jiraiya is an ass-hole, Sasuke had a feeling that day would never come. 

He purposely strode into the tall apartment complex that he and Shikamaru would be living in for the duration of this assignment. Thankfully, Sasuke had managed to convince Jiraiya that, should they need to bring Sakura or Hinata home for working purposes, they should not have to compromise their identities in order to do so. Jiraiya, being the super perverted, old man that he is, boldly stated, "Ah. Yes, _Working Purposes_. Gottcha." And then had to audacity to wink at him and tell him when he was Sasuke's age, they just called it sex.

Pushing the elevator button, Sasuke impatiently waited for the elevator to arrive as Shikamaru finally dragged himself to the elevator doors. Silence enfolded the two as they waited for the machine to arrive. Sasuke glanced up; the elevator was on the 7th floor, slowly making its way down. A few more seconds passed by. Finally, Shikamaru asked, "So, what do you think about them?"

Sasuke turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised. "Who?"

The elevator was now on level five. "Our new partners."

Sasuke paused. To say the least, Sasuke was a little put out by the new team he would have to deal with. Sakura could quite possibly jeopardize the whole mission, should her lack of control over her feelings, particularly jealousy, come to play. She wore them on her sleeve, a dangerous virtue in her chosen career path; however she was gorgeous, he had to admit, but was too confident in her beauty and often relied on it to help her out, as exemplified this afternoon. Hinata, on the other hand, was nothing special; normal; average. You take your pick. Her confidence levels were an issue and her features were non de script, which is perhaps her only positive. He must have mistaken that one woman with Hinata in hopes that perhaps he would have at least one competent partner. The elevator finally arrived as the doors slid open with a soft 'ding'. "Unextraordinary and annoying," He said as he strode into the elevator, closely followed by Shikamaru, "personified into a pair of women."

* * *

Can you say Crack-a-licious? 

_Naruto slowly approached the massive group from behind and moved towards Shikamaruo. Hinata, as if possessed, suddenly turned her head to Sasuke, looking him up and down, biting her lip, as Sakura and Ino began running their hands up and down his arms and across his chest. "Dude," Naruto started, "why do all the chicks like the emo-kids?"_

_"I don't know, why don't you ask the author?" Shikamaru calmly stated, bored out of his mind despite the slowly developing soft-core porn happening right in front of him._

_"That's a great idea! Believe it!" Naruto exclaimed as he turned around to face a small woman who was furiously typing on her laptop.  
"Hey! Author lady!" He loudly called, startling the young woman, "Why do all the chicks dig the emo guys?"_

_Sighing loudly, the woman readjusted her square glasses. "Well, you see Naruto," she started before reaching down and pulling up a chart and unfolding a metal pointer. "This," she pointed to a figure who, oddly, looked just like Naruto, "is what a normal guy is. Note the wide shoulders, the baggy pants, and the gaming system in his pocket." She said as she pointed to the main article of the normal man. "And this," she said, pointing to another figure who, just as oddly, looked strangely like Sasuke, "is the normal emo kid. Note the acoustic guitar, showing that he is powerful enough to not need a real job, the apathetic expression, showing the rebel side of him, the soulful eyes that could bore into one's soul, and finally the skin tight jeans that shows he is secure in his manliness." She stated as she refolded her pointer and pushed the diagram back down. _

_"Do you understand now, Naruto?" she quietly asked._

_"…so wait? Girls want to see you wear girl clothes? Sweet!" he cried as he ran off into the back room before re-emerging, dressed in a strapless, orange sundress with white daisies on it and a wide brimmed sunhat. "Sakura-chan!" he yelled, "Will you go out with me now?"_

_Hinata promptly fainted, her hands trying to block out the horror that was Naruto in a sundress. "My eyes!" Sakura screamed loudly, "my virgin eyes!" She quickly ran out the door, screaming about her virgin eyes. Ino's eyes exploded and, as she ran around clutching her bleeding sockets, the greatly disturbed authoress became horrified at the damage one crack story could do._

_"Sakura-chan!" Naruto cried, "Wait! Don't you love me?!" he swiftly ran out the door in pursuit of his beloved._

_"I guess he still doesn't understand…" the authoress slowly answered her own question, slowly shutting her laptop.

* * *

_

**Tehcrazykatlady: **I do say, the best piece of frivolous fun? I gluttonously thank thee for thy beautiful praise. It does the heart good. Spinney chairs are one of my favorite hobbies too. TenTen is like Q! Props to you for that connection! And no, no one deserves that kind of abuse from Tsunade. Yes, I do know Ranma ½ and yes, I too do see the similarities between Jiraiya and Hopposai.

**Eight88: **Kakashi into the mix? Hm. Well, I did think about it, back when I was in my KakaAnko funk, but then I realized that it would become way complex, too complex for my likes anyways.

**Madteen66: **I love Ino too! It's probably going to be my favorite line in the whole series, the 'so much space, such little lumps' thing.

**A little girl in blue: **Thanks! I thought it was rather funny too, but then again there are always those times when you tell a joke, and you just crack yourself up, and no one else thinks it was funny. So it's just like, you're laughing alone, and it's always way awkward so you always end your laughing spree with a, "he…he…"

**MoonIdiot: **Hello, you! Yes! Cat fight (kinda). I wasn't into the whole violence thing this time.

**Darksmile: **Every time I read your name it gives me little shivers down my spine because it reminds me of the movie, 'Disturbia'. Not that I'm saying it's a bad name. I'm just saying I'm really weird like that. Thanks for reviewing!

**Piisa: **I'm sorry this came out so late! It's like, all my creativity dried up and I had a billion essays to write about ancient history! I'm so glad you too think it's funny! And I'm getting my creativity back though, so yay!

**Magenta-chan**: I, too, wish my chapters were longer. But I really don't think I could write longer chapters without cramping up!

**Show.me.the.stars.:** Show choir? Well, we sing and dance. In a group. Think musicals, only without spoken lines. I love crack stories!

**Anonymous reviewer Unknown: **Woah, woah! Slow down! You might die from all the questions! Erm, I think I already answered your questions about the next chapter by posting it, and I'm trying to keep people in suspense about the side pairings. In order to post a fan fiction on fanfiction, you need to get an account. Once you get an account on here, PM me and I'll tell you how to get them on here if you're still confused. I do double space my chapters, so, I don't know what to tell you there. Well, that's something we have in common, I love a long review, and only some days to I like homework.

**theInnocent1: **Ah! Where'd you go?! I do love the soap in the sock thing. Cracks me up every time. And too true, the sock did help. Maybe they'd just run around barefoot all day, because, honestly, isn't it uncomfortable to wear sneakers without socks?


	7. Fun Box

Ha. I'm back. I'm surprised that more of you haven't complained about my updating, or should I say lack there of. Well, fear no more! I have a new chapter for your reading pleasure, though I have to say I'm sorry about the ending. Okay, something some of you might be wondering: Hinata's stutter. It only appears when she is not doing something spy related because when she is doing her work, she is completely focused on her task and forgets about the world.

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, so please don't sue me.

* * *

Pearl eyes snapped open and looked around the room. Someone, besides herself and Sakura, was here. Quietly as possible, Hinata pulled back the covers and slipped out of bed. Grabbing two senbon, she pulled up her hair and freed the two kunai she cleverly hid on her fore arms before making her way to the main room and to the window.

Sakura's mused head popped up from the couch. "What is it, Hinata-chan?" she asked, still half asleep, however Hinata's reply didn't come as she had already opened the window and slipped out onto the fire escape. Confused by her roommate's behavior, Sakura deftly followed her movements.

Hinata was already climbing onto the roof by the time Sakura caught up. A shadowed figure stood, bent over some piece of technology. Hinata slowly raised a kunai, fully concentrated on aiming at the figure. Suddenly a smacking sound came from behind her, causing Hinata's concentration to break and her Kunai to miss the target. The shadow stood up, snapping his head to look at the two. A brief moment passed between the two shadowed persons before they snapped back to reality. Launching her second kunai, Hinata began running toward the man.

The man closed the small screen on the computer he was using and began to run, Hinata close on his heels. She pulled out one of her senbon and shot it at the man's hand that carried the box before pulling out her second one after the first missed. She launched the second, hope to hit the moving target as she had no more projectiles. A small ring sounded as the senbon met the shadowed man's neck and the man fell to the ground.

Walking slowly to the corpse, Hinata nudged it with her foot to make sure his spinal cord was completely severed. She flipped the corpse and, once she was completely satisfied she couldn't identify it, reached down and picked up the box. Flipping it around to examine all sides, she opened the top and peered down at the screen as Sakura came up behind her.

"What do you make of it?" Hinata questioned aloud, tossing the box to Sakura.

"Well," Sakura started, looking at all sides as well, "I'm not an expert in computer sciences, but I'd have to say that it's not good; probably a box to monitor all incoming and outgoing transmissions." She tossed the box back to Hinata.

"Exactly what I thought," Hinata replied, catching the box squarely in her hand. Sakura and Hinata turned around and started their way back to the apartment. "So Sakura," Hinata paused, turning to look at her partner and raising an eyebrow, "What made you decide to put on lip gloss just as I was preparing to throw a kunai?"

"Well…" she paused, "my lips were dry." Sakura finished lamely. Hinata began laughing at her butchered attempt to justify her actions. "Oh, shut up! You know you would have too!"

Hinata continued laughing at the beauty obsessed girl as she slowly descended the fire escape back to her apartment to finish her sleep.

* * *

Sasuke always knew he had a slight case of insomnia, but it had never affected him this badly until tonight. He pushed the power button on the remote a little harder than necessary and slammed down the remote. "Why is there never anything good on at 2:00 in the morning?" he moaned to himself as he ran his fingers through his hair. He pulled himself off of the rented couch and moved to the kitchen carrying an empty mug with him. Shuffling over to the refrigerator he opened the door and began his quest for the coffee grounds. Finally reaching success, he pulled it out and began the ritual of making the elixir of life. The slow drizzle of coffee was almost painful to the drowsy Uchiha. Each small splash added to his need for the drink.

Licking his lips, he turned away from the brewing drink to examine his coffee cup. It had a picture of little orange cats chasing purple butterflies.

Sasuke was at a loss of words on why they owned such an unmanly cup and vowed to make it disappear sometime in the near future.

The coffee maker began making the sweet gurgling noises of temptation as it began running out of water. Sasuke briskly strolled toward the contraption, ready to send his taste buds into a state of high bliss. He pulled out the pot and began pouring the elixir into the cup.

Suddenly the phone gave off a loud ring that resounded though out the impersonal, spacious apartment. Sasuke lunged to get the phone next to the coffee maker and swore loudly; somehow, while he was trying to get the phone, he had managed to knock over his steaming cup of coffee and poured the rest of the pot onto the floor and himself, leaving just enough for one cup.

"What?" he barked into the phone while walking to the bathroom and trying to clean off the burning coffee.

"A-a-anou, Uchiha-san," a timid voice started, "we, um, Sakura-san and I f-found a b-box. W-we thought you a-and Sh-Shikamaru w-would like to s-see it."

"Hn. We'll meet you at the agency in 2 hours." Sasuke hung up the phone before her reply and retuned to the kitchen just in time to see Shikamaru poor the last bit of coffee into another mug. Sasuke's ever present glare shifted from the culprit to the crime and back to the culprit. What did he have to do to get a damn cup of coffee around here?

* * *

Hinata stood next to Sakura on the street waiting for the rest of her group to show up. Currently the two male partners were late by an hour. Hinata checked her watch again. 6:10 in the morning.

"Hinata," Sakura whined, "it's been over an hour, do you think we could just, I don't know, deposit it in their technology department?"

"T-that would be r-rude. B-besides, we were v-very late th-the f-first day as well." Sakura let out a sigh and leaned against the agency building a little more, "Plus, w-we d-don't have a k-key."

"Hinata, I know how to pick locks." Sakura retorted just as Hinata spotted Shikamaru's hair and the appreciative stares from the female gender that seem to follow Sasuke.

"It's o-okay. Th-they're h-here." Sakura immediately perked up, happy to see her piece of eye-candy.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura purred as soon as the two men came into hearing range, "I thought you were more punctual."

"Hn, we would have been if this one," he pointedly looked at Shikamaru and moved away from Sakura, "Had managed to not fall asleep again."

"What, coffee makes me drowsy." Shikamaru defended himself against Sasuke's accusations. Sasuke, however, was unaffected by his attempt to defend himself, and Shikamaru shrugged and unlocked the door. Sasuke strode in first, followed by Sakura and Hinata, and finally Shikamaru.

With the finality that all doors give as the close, the group stood in silence, waiting for the agency's elevator. "So, do I get to see this 'box' that you called about?" Sasuke asked in a way that was more of a demand than a question.

"Ah. Yes, s-sorry." Hinata replied, blushing at her forgetfulness before digging around in a large white tote before pulling out a small black, rectangular box, "H-here."

Shikamaru and Sasuke copied the actions of the two girls as they examined the box. "Did you two form any theories about what it is?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes," Sakura answered, "we believe it could be a box to block communications with the agencies." The elevator doors silently slide open as the group stepped into the elevator. Pressing the number B5, Shikamaru expressed his agreement with the statement.

"E-excuse me, b-but t-that floor isn't th-the floor we v-visited y-yesterday." Hinata stated, slightly confused. They were going to the technology department, right?

"We're not going there," Sasuke coldly explained, looking over at Hinata, "We're going to the foreign technologies department. Doesn't your agency have one?"

"No, we just take the devices we find to the technology department." Sakura interjected for Hinata, "Why would we have a new department for something that we have rarely?"

"What if the unknown device was planted in order to steal your technology and you're hand delivering it to the target." Sasuke rationalized to Sakura like a teacher to a child, "With that system, you're putting your technologies in danger. I would suggest you talk to your supervisor about that." The door opened again with a small ding and Sasuke and Shikamaru walked out of the door to a singular figure, the only one in the room, leaving Hinata and Sakura to scramble after them.

The figured turned around, and, after a couple nods in Sasuke and Shikamaru's direction turned to the two women. "These are our two partners from the woman's agency," Shikamaru explained in a bored tone, "Sakura and –"

"Hinata." The man finished and finally turned to face the two women. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

* * *

Crack, my anti-drug:

_The wind blew in forceful gusts against her face, but Hinata knew that it only helped cover her presence. Silently she stalked her prey, waiting for the correct time and moment to pounce. She dodged though the narrow alleys and random carts pilled with supplies to keep in sight of her target. _

_Sakura, following Hinata's leave, crouched next to her as she waited for the target to move. Sasuke and Shikamaru was monitoring the situation from above, on the roof tops. The target you might ask? The ever elusive rouge spy who goes by the code name MoonIdiot, though what the name stands for is unknown. Peaking around the corner, Hinata watched the target move to throw away a box of chocolate. "Prancing Meadows, do you copy?" Hinata questioned as she watched the target closely._

_"Copy, Sunny Butterfly. I hear you loud and clear." Sakura returned Hinata's summoning, pressing the communication system in her ear._

_"Why do we need code names again Hinata and Sakura?" Shikamaru questioned as Sasuke hummed his agreement._

_"Fruit Salad, please stick to the code system only and use the code names. Prancing Meadows out."_

_"This is completely idiotic. The target doesn't even have a communications receptor."_

_"Just get over it, Duck-On-A-Quiet-Pond!" Suddenly the target moved._

_"Target on the move! Repeat: Target on the move!" Hinata whispered fiercely._

_Hinata rolled out from her hiding place behind a trashcan and started walking normally with Sakura right next to her. Sakura, acting completely normal, sharply pulled out some lip gloss and began to put it on, catching Hinata's attention. "Oh my gosh!" Hinata squealed, turning to face Sakura and grabbing her arm, "Is that part of the new sparkle line from that famous designer!"_

_"Yes!" Sakura squealed right back, turning to face Hinata too, "I just love it!"_

_"Could I, try it on?"_

_"Yes!" Sakura consented, giving Hinata the tube. Hinata put a layer on and smacked her lips, "Isn't it great?" Sakura asked as Hinata began nodding her head furiously._

_"Uh, Sakura and Hinata," Shikamaru began, "what about the target?" But alas, Shikamaru finished just as the target went out of sight._

_"Sunny Butterfly, did you hear something?" Sakura asked Hinata._

_"Why, no, Prancing Meadows, I didn't." Hinata replied, "Maybe if they had used the code names…"

* * *

_

Okay, first off, I would like to thank all of my reviewers; you guys rock! I love you all! You make me so happy. –sniffs–

**MadTeen66**: I'm glad you liked that part about Jiraiya and his mentally scarring and disturbing comments. I love to write them, though this part had nothing really that funny, which is always disappointing.

**Show.Me.The.Stars**:That was a great part; honestly, I had fun writing that part too. I meant to make it rude because isn't Sasuke a little rude jerk? And who doesn't love that? Well, we already know Ino isn't; she was Hinata's partner before Sakura and the gang.

**MoonIdiot**: Where'd you go? You're right; Hinata's amazing, not average. Do you feel special? You should. You were featured in the crack story because I needed a name.

**DarkSmile**: I'm glad you're glad I'm alive! I'm glad I'm alive too! I'm also glad you enjoyed the chapter, it's always a good thing for the author when someone tells he/she they enjoyed the story.

**Killian Rawr**: Is this the first time you've review my story? I'm so touched. I got a new reviewer. I should throw a party in your honor. I loves me some scene/emo boys too!

**Piisa**: Yes, I am a lazy author -.-" I hope you can forgive me. Hinata will show him in time, my dear, in time.

**TheInnocent1**: Not the…dreaded computer difficulties! I'm very happy you're back! I thought you died! I hear that wearing your sneakers without socks makes them stinky too! I never wear shoes without socks unless it's like, sandals or something. Look! I updated. Score!


	8. Extraordinary

Ah! I'm such a bad person! I never update! Okay, so at the bottom I have a little poll to those who read this and it's rather important, so be sure to read it. I'm sorry about the updating, or lack there of, and I'm sure you don't want to hear excuse, which, sadly, you will still hear. Just a lot of stuff has been happening between me and my best friends and bonds have been tested. I've had an enormous amount of projects due these past months plus I joined a Llama club which meets every Monday.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own any of the characters mentioned in this story.

* * *

"N-nii-san!" Hinata exclaimed, eyes wide in shock, "Wh-what are you d-doing here?"

The wiry man frowned and gave a slight cough. "Please, Hinata-san, call me by my name as we are in a professional setting."

Hinata made a quick noise, before stuttering out a quiet apology. The Air settled amongst the young adults in the room, partly because of the confusion of how the two similar looking agents knew each other, partly because of the silence which followed Hinata's adverse apology to the still unnamed man.

"So, will I ever get to learn your name?" Sakura questioned, finally growing impatient in the dead room.

Two of the three male heads turned to look at the mostly known man, the other two heads, those of the female variety, were already watching as the stranger as he took a breath and expelled one word: "Neji". Of course, three of the four heads already knew his name along with his personality and his some of quirks, one more so than the others. Another pause infiltrated the scene.

"So, will I ever get to see why you came?" Neji demanded, slightly irate at the all the pervading silences hovering over the air. Having completely forgotten why they were there in the first place, Hinata attempted to stifle the oncoming blush, but failing horridly, as she dug through her tote.

"H-here, N-Neji-san," she spoke before bowing deeply and offering the device with both hands, "thank-you for looking at it for us on such short notice."

Neji snorted in amusement, but his face held a small, but rare, smile. "It's my job, Hinata-san. I have to look at it or else I will be fired and my memory wiped clean," but Hinata's small look of despair stopped him short. "But I'm sure I can bump it up to a priority just for you," he relented with a sigh.

Hinata beamed. "Th-thank-you Nii-san," she replied happily.

Neji's eye twitched. "What did I just say about calling me that?"

Softly giggling at her mistake, Hinata apologized before ushering the team outside the lab. Acting quickly, Neji grabbed the barely lagging Uchiha, and, turning him around, and glared into his eyes. "If you so much as lay a hand on my cousin, I assure you that the next assignment you go on will be your last," Neji calmly threatened.

"Why would I go for her?" Sasuke questioned coldly, meeting Neji's glare evenly. "She's nothing special." Ripping his arm out of Neji's grip, Sasuke strode out the door to join the rest of the group.

Neji chuckled for he knew something the Uchiha didn't: Hinata wasn't just special. She was extraordinary.

* * *

Hinata exhaled deeply. Heels were definitely a bad choice for today, no matter how cute the red patent leather stilettos may be. Each step felt like a small butterfly knife slowly plunging into her delicate, fleshy heel. The forty steps to her apartment grew to forty thousand as the signals her feet sent began flooding her brain, telling her to stop and let them out of this agony. She really had to stop buying such flashy shoes. That, and stop wearing them to work related events.

After the small group of spies exited the nondescript grey building, Sasuke dissipated into air causing Sakura to become depressed almost instantaneously after his disappearance and begin desperately searching for him, only to quickly return. This left Shikamaru to slink off in another completely opposite direction to escape the madness, leaving Hinata stranded with Sakura.

Sakura dragged her all over the city and into small boutiques, despite Hinata's rationalizations that Sasuke probably would _not_ be shopping for expensive women's clothing unless Sasuke was also Sasu-_gay_, only obviously not quite as frank.

Oddly, Sakura chose to ignore her comment.

The more she thought about it, the more Hinata became curious. Naturally, all humans are curious beings, and, while her level of curiosity was lower than most, the pale woman was not completely immune to the mysterious charm the Uchiha presented. The way his presence seemed to command a room to do his bidding and the way he always seemed to disappear.

He reminded her of one of those old superheroes from the 1950's before the introduction of readily available television. Or even the stereotypical spy that one would find in a stereotypical spy movie. Hinata giggled as she remembered her first glimpse at Sasuke, but quickly sobered.

While he may not have been superb at stalking and tracking, she was sure he could more than hold his own if things became serious. She wasn't completely oblivious to her female urges; just a little numb to them. What caused other women to swoon only caused Hinata to question their sanity and calm her erratic breathing. Another thing about Hinata was that, being as Sasuke could make a woman melt with just one smoldering look from his obsidian eyes, she only saw a Mr. Grumpy-pants who really needed to stop giving people such intense, soul-reading looks.

It didn't help that she was also a little anxious of him.

With her forty steps to her apartment being done and her key's safely in her key holder and tote on the floor, Hinata peeled off her shoes and stepped onto the cool wooden floor with a sigh of relief. She briefly wiggled her toes as to reintroduce the blood flow to that section of her anatomy before venturing further into her cozy apartment she had all to herself once again.

Probably the only good thing to come about during Sakura's jaunt around the city was an apartment they had found which Sakura had immediately fallen in love with and rented on the spot. Why she had so much income at her disposal, Hinata didn't know. She did know, however, that no matter how much she had missed seeing Sakura since the academy days, she was still glad Sakura was gone. Guests were strenuous, especially when they use the bathroom for hours at a time.

Hinata began removing her accessories on her walk to her room: earrings, necklace, bracelet, sebon, and a pocket knife, before reaching for the gun holster located tightly around her small thigh and set all the weaponry and other items on the bed.

Moving into her bathroom, though without much to do there she began putting her jewelry away; she still needed to clean her weapons before she could properly store them. Hinata believed that if one took good care of her weapons, one's weapons would take good care of you.

She exited the bathroom, having finished putting her _real_ accessories away, and reached for her cloth holster that contained her compact mousegun. Extracting the gun, Hinata opened her bottom drawer and took out the proper supplies with which to clean it.

Feeling a foreign breeze upon her skin, she became alert, moving with ease and silence toward the main area of her house. Cautiously peeking around the corner, her gun raised and the safety off, Hinata examined the area, everything being the same with the exception of a window she never opened now gapingly ajar.

"Hinata-chan!" a voice rejoiced, causing Hinata to tense and aim the weapon toward the noise. Fortunately for the voice, the owner jumped out of the shadows, revealing Sakura.

Placing her hand above her bosom, Hinata heaved a substantial sigh before pausing. "Sakura-san, what are you doing here? You own your own apartment now."

"But, I missed you!" Sakura cried before tackling the smaller woman in a suffocation hug. "You know I can't stand being alone!"

Hinata sighed once again, closing her eyes. Tonight was going to be a long night. Again. Opening her eyes to face Sakura again, she quickly discovered Sakura was not where she left her but was rather digging though her drawer.

"Hey, Hinata, where did those blankets I was using go? We're going to have an old fashioned sleepover!" Sakura bubbled over as she reached for a bottom drawer.

Hinata gasped, "N-not in there Sakura-chan!" But it was too late. The incriminating drawer had been opened. Papers and photos flew out from inside the large wooden box, scattering all over the room. Sakura, puzzled, bent down to examine the pages as Hinata began hyperventilating. Suddenly realizing what they were, Sakura slyly smirked.

"So…Naruto only makes 17,000 dollars a year? That's not a lot…" Hinata replied by grabbing the offending loose leaf and pushing Sakura into her room with an excuse along the lines of Sakura's hair being frizzy and drying out due to neglect of proper hair care.

* * *

**Crack is in the air, every where I look around. Crack is in the air, every sight and every sound**

The air was tense. Shikamaru dominatingly leaned over a device; one wrong move could equal death.

The timer was working against him; a minute fifty and counting. A bead of sweat slowly made its course down his face, trickling around his eyebrow and off his jaw.

"Pliers," he called for, "I need pliers."

"What kind?" answered Sakura, tensely standing next to Hinata, who was kneeling next to his bag. Sasuke, completely somehow unaffected by the situation, leaned calmly against a concrete wall not too far away.

"Linemen's," he returned to the two obviously tense girls and apathetic Sasuke. Hinata plunged her hand into the bad, riffling around inside its confinements to locate a pair of linemen's pliers.

Finally Hinata began pulling her hand out of the bag, showing first the creamy hilt of her hand followed by the black handles of the pliers.

However, what the team didn't expect was to find a shimmering, light blue and white, sequined scrunchy attached to the mouth of the much needed pliers.

The team's eyes all locked onto the offending item, one of the pair silently testing his powers of incineration upon the small item, but unfortunately failing miserably.

"Hinata, is that what I _think_ that is?"

"H-hai, Sakura-san. I-I think s-so…"

The timer's steady ticks were the only thing making the passing time as the two women unnervingly gazed at the genius who was unfortunately too preoccupied saving face to notice the timer.

"Oh for fuck's sake," muttered Sasuke as he pushed himself off the wall. He efficiently made two strides across the room to the ticking explosive. Bending over, he swiftly picked it up, studied it for a second as the timer hit fifteen seconds and put his mouth down to the device, biting a protruding wire. With one swift jerk, Sasuke pulled the wire out of the device and loudly set the now neutralized device back on the ground.

Three surprised looks met his calm, stoic gaze. "I didn't fucking feel like dying today." The room remained still and silent as three sets of eyes still watched Sasuke.

"Jesus fucking Christ! Are we just going to stand here all day?" he yelled out before storming away, Sakura blissfully floating behind him, congratulating him on his quick wit and masculinity, and Hinata scuttling behind her, terrified of what Sasuke would do if she didn't.

"Show-off" Shikamaru muttered darkly as he slowly followed behind Sasuke, stuffing his neglected pliers and controversial scrunchy back into his knapsack.

* * *

Okay. So this summer I will be moving and thus my computer will not be available for my use for some time. Because of this, I have a few options:

Option A: I continue updating for this summer until I move which then I will use the time while I am not able to use my computer to gather my thoughts. My updates will probably be rather sporadic, better than what they are right now as in updates will not be separated by multiple months, but still sporadic.

Option B: I put this story on temporary hiatus through the summer until I get my computer back after I've moved. My thoughts will be more collected meaning that when I do get my computer back I will probably be more predictable with the updating.

Either way the story goes on temporary hiatus until after I've moved. So there's no way to avoid that.

On to comments!

**Whiteleapard – **I loved the code names, too! Ah! Thanks for reviewing, you have no clue how happy I am that people feel the need to review!

**Prettypinkpeacock – **Ha ha! I'm super sorry! You request me to update sooner because of the cliffhanger and I just get bogged down with everything and update months later! Later than last time!

**show.me.the.stars – **I did leave a little rude cliffhanger there! The girls are just a few crayons short of a 64 pack. Well, maybe if you had actually whined I would have updated sooner, which I feel plenty bad for.

**madteen66 – **I should hope he doesn't make Sasuke jealous…I'm not too much into incest…

**AUSUMIST AIM3131 – **Thanks for the suggestion! I'll keep it in mind!

**xXSadxEyedxAngelxX – **Who knows how long you'll be waiting for said love between Sasuke and Hinata, though, I'm planning it! And I am honestly not dead, which I am thankful for.

**MoonIdiot – **Hey, I sent an email to the new address, did you get it? And you deserve those temples! I wish I had a neat-o temple that Indiana Jones could infiltrate a thousand years later…

**Piisa – **You're right! You should get a cookie! I was worried it was too obvious…but people didn't seem to pick up on it…

**AUSUMIST 313AIM – **Twice! You reviewed twice! Oh, how special I am feeling. Especially since you gave me encouragement! But I'm totally not doing this for the reviews; I'm doing it because I _want to_. I feel that that's how authors should write. Not because they want acknowledgment. I'll try to update as soon as possible which, depending on which option I go with, will be sooner than this one because I will be on vacation.


	9. Changes

Disclaimer: The usual with a side of hot sause.

* * *

Hinata looked at her watch: 11:22 – she was going to be early. She sighed, glad that she at least chose a park where they could at least sit in case this was one of her friend's worse days.

It wasn't so much that she was going to be early as much as, knowing Ten-Ten's eccentric qualities, Ten-Ten was going to be a little late and she would be stuck making odd small talk with her estranged cousin. It also wasn't that she disliked her cousin: their relationship was just a little strained.

You'd think that after 12 years he'd understand that she had forgiven him almost immediately after the incident; but, apparently not so, being as he was standing at the appointed meeting place and looking at his watch to the point of obsessive behavior.

"N-Neji-nii! Why are y-you here s-so early?"

"I wanted to make sure that you weren't standing alone too long, Hinata-sama," he coolly replied, finally dropping his wrist, and watch, to his side. Silence filled the air being as neither person quite knew what to say to the other. "Shall we go then?" His raised eyebrow almost made him seem impatient.

"U-um, n-no, not yet." Her eyes danced around the scenery, frantically scanning for her odd friend despite knowing that Ten-Ten would be about three minutes late.

His eyebrow rose even higher. "May I enquire as to why we cannot leave?" He definitely did not want to stand in the park any longer.

"W-well, my f-friend, Ten-Ten, is c-coming. Sh-she enjoys antique w-weapons as well."

About three minutes had elapsed. "Is she always this late?"

About to reply in defense of her friend, Hinata was cut off at the start by a girl in two twin buns slowing to a halt in front of her. "Sorry, Hinata-chan! I forgot something at home and I had to rush back to get it!"

"Eh? It's o-okay. No h-harm done, n-ne?" Hinata positively beamed at her two companions, each of whom was giving the other an odd, who-the-hell-are-you look. "U-um, I s-suppose I should introduce y-you t-two," she commented, noting the looks. "Ten-Ten-chan, th-this is my c-cousin Neji-san; N-Neji-nii, t-this is my f-friend Ten-Ten-san from work."

Formalities exchanged, the mood slightly lighted as Hinata engaged the two in an abrasive chat about antique weapons: Ten-Ten more into their uses, Neji more into how the weapons were designed and made. Hinata barely made a noise, just pleased at the conversation the flowed between the two weapons and gadgets masters.

The walk to the showing was brisk, if not a little chilly. Seasons do progress throughout the year, after all. Each step of hers gave off a little crunch as her foot crushed the dead shell of a leaf. The sound was rather hypnotic: the murmurs of voices along with the crunch of the leaves beneath her boot. So much so that she had to be told that they had reached the museum, being alerted to the fact by Neji tactfully moving to pay for Hinata's ticket into the show while Hinata was distracted.

However, due to her persistence, Neji allowed her to repay him for her ticket.

The entrance to the exhibit advertised ancient katanas and swords among other, more common weapons and some tools like scythes.

Security was tight: a slip up in this exhibit could not only be costly, but deadly as well. Realizing that the multiple screenings for metals of any type could uncover her weapons in her purse as well as on her body and in her hair, Hinata was a little hesitant about going through security. Spy training taught her a little too well as now she was uncomfortable going anywhere unarmed.

Some how the big man up there seemed to hear Hinata's silent plea of justice and sent a glorious escape in a most unlikely form being as everyone who knew Hinata well knew not to call today. Her cell phone, the one she bought only to keep in touch with her little sister while she was at boarding school, rang. Well, more like vibrated, but that still didn't change the fact that someone was still calling her. Lunging at the celebrated device, Hinata flipped up the phone, short of breath and smiling. "H-hello?"

"Hinata," boomed the voice on the other side. "We need you to get down here now. Actually, no, we needed you here yesterday!" A pause followed the speaker. "Oh. Yeah, this is Jiraiya."

"D-demo, I know…" she trailed off.

"Then why the silence?"

"B-because, I'm p-pretty sure I was t-there yesterday." A large sigh escaped the spy boss on the phone line.

"Just get down here, okay?" More demand than question, Hinata decided.

"Ah! O-okay!" She sharply closed the phone, relief spreading across her face. She didn't have to enter the seven levels of hell, know to normal folk and gadget wiz alike as security.

"Ten-Ten, N-Neji, sorry b-but I h-have to go. Please, still have f-fun in my absence." And with that and a twirl of midnight-blue hair, Hinata was gone.

"Y'know," Ten-Ten started slowly, "I'd say she was almost happy to leave."

"Hm," was Neji's reply before the pair gave the taxi the absentee girl one last questioning glance before moving farther into the exhibit.

Hinata breathed deeply, her pale hand on the handle leading into her temporary boss' office. It wasn't so much that she was scared to go it, just scared that she was the last one to come, which she was ninety percent positive she was, even though she didn't sense anyone in there. She didn't want to just barge in if they were in the middle of something, but she also didn't want them to be kept waiting by her. Hinata took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

A single pair of eyes stared back at her, coolly evaluating her entrance. He scoffed and looked away.

"A-ah! Good afternoon Uchiha-san!" He grunted in reply, assuming a grunt could be taken as a reply. Hinata cautiously approached the sitting area that Jiraiya provided, which consisted of one beat-up couch and two equally as beat up chairs.

* * *

Why Jiraiya couldn't provide better seating arrangements may not have gone through Hinata's mind, but it most certainly went through Sasuke's mind. The rough texture of the couch's fabric seemed to instantly cause Sasuke to burst out into hives on his upper legs despite the fact that he was wearing dress pants. He was itching the rash on his leg before the Hyuuga arrived, but sadly his little tête-à-tête with his bothersome legs came to an instant halt when he sensed the other presence when she walked within a six-meter range.

Who knew who it was, and what they would think when they saw him, Sasuke Uchiha – sexy, hunk-o-luv, beast of the dark – scratching himself viciously. (And on the upper leg, no less.) Depending on who they were they would probably either suspect him of being the tragic victim of a raging sexually transmitted illness, due to his impressive looks, or immediately jump him demanding to help him, claiming something about how they'd do anything for their Sasu-kun: _**anything**_. He shuddered at the thought.

"E-excuse me, Uchiha-san? A-are you s-sick?" the shorter, obviously far more shy girl asked with concern. And why wouldn't she? She was obviously another fan girl, though he had to give her compliments as to how well she hid it. She almost seemed like she didn't like him. Ha. The thought.

"No." One word. That should do it. Maybe she'd back off.

"A-alright. I j-just saw you sh-shivering and moving in you s-seat a lot and t-thought that m-maybe –"

"Well, I'm not." Silence once again dominated the air surrounding the two dark haired pair, one in over-bearing confidence, the one other in a subtle awkwardness.

* * *

The horrible atmosphere, which had pervaded all the way into the next hallway – the poor, poor secretary stationed there now lay partially dead from the awkward situation – was now working on prying open the elevator doors, when the door slammed open and a burst of fresh air hit the room in the form of a seemingly harmless girl dragging in an equally seemly dead body.

"Okay, this better be good," the girl mumbled, a dark aura directed at the faux corpse she was dragging. "I had just gotten into one of _the_ hardest hair salons in the _entire city_ only to get paged just as I reached the chair and then I find this lazy bum right outside the building, asleep in the middle of the sidewalk causing people to fret and worry and threaten to call the cops and then I broke my one of my nails, which hurt so much I almost ended up beating this lug but then I realized, " she paused, her eyes landing on a certain someone who was suspiciously glaring between a certain part of his anatomy and the chair which he was perched upon. "Sasuke-kun," Sakura squealed, suddenly forgetting about the next-to-impossible hair salon as well as the ersatz cadaver and broken nail to rush over and gush about something to him.

The door slammed open again, begging the question what did the silly door ever do to anyone. The man responsible for not only messing up Hinata's outing but also Sakura's appointment as well as Shikamaru's sleeping and, well, whatever Sasuke was doing – not that we'd want to know – breezed in. "Oh good. Everyone's here," he cheerily said, gazing at the four waiting bodies, leering at two of them before his eyes landed on the fourth only to chuck a pen at said forth body to wake him up. "So…I suppose you want to know what's up. What the deal is. The info. The quarto-uno-uno. And I will tell you, after you tell me something about yourselves! Think of this as a team bonding experience, only more beneficial to me. Okay, now, Hinata," he boomed before pausing to gaze at her, slightly smirking, "what's your cup size?"

She squeaked, stuttering about how she didn't find how knowing that information was relevant to team building which Jiraiya replied with an innocent look that said why-so-I-can-order-your-armor-and-what-not. Hinata, finding no other alternative, shakily wrote it on a receipt down before sliding it over, to which his eyes widened and his face curved into a very large smirk as he stuffed the small slip of paper into his jacket.

His eyes searched the room again as he tried to figure out which victim to target next. "Sakura," he boomed yet again. Hinata could have sworn she felt the slightly unstable furniture shake. His pause lasted slightly longer than the previous one as he pondered over what question to ask Sakura. "Okay," he began, "how many men have you successfully seduced?"

"Twenty-seven and a half" she replied without fail, a small accomplished smirk adorning her features.

Jiraiya whistled, slightly impressed before cutting off midway through. "Wait, Twenty-seven and _**a half**_? How the hell do you get _**a half**_?" He paused again. "You know what; I don't want to know." Sakura's smirk grew.

"Shikamaru!" Jiraiya boomed, startling Shikamaru awake, "why the hell are you so damn lazy! I mean, goddamn! You must sleep for twenty-two hours each day!" Unfortunately, by this time the person in question had once again fallen into a coma like sleep. "Lazy bastard," Jiraiya darkly muttered before continuing on. "This only leaves, Sasuke, my boy!" He cried, leaping up to run to the man and grab his hand. "How do you do it? Please, I beg you! Take mercy upon my soul and teach me the method to make random women strip for me on command! Please! I know they do that, I've seen it in action! All the lace lined thongs, panties, and braziers just being thrown at you, and you don't even care, the poor babies! Oh what a haul they'd make!"

* * *

Sasuke slowly retracted his hand. "…I don't have a 'method'."

"You mean it just…happens? Damn, some guys _do_ just walk in the light."

"Can we move on now? I don't particularly enjoy sitting around here." Sasuke scoffed before looking at his watch awkwardly.

"Oh yes. Right." Jiraiya said, looking infinitely less spirited now that Sasuke had crushed his hopes and dreams, "Well, sadly I am taking two agents off this case." He paused for dramatic effect as two of the four members gasped, the two who didn't being Sasuke – because he's apathetic – and Shikamaru – because he's comatose.

"W-who will be t-taken off t-the c-case, Jiraiya-sama?" Hinata stuttered out, eyes wide.

Jiraiya, while slightly drooling from the words 'Jiraiya-sama' being delivered through female lips, quickly composed himself to say two names: Shikamaru and Sakura.

"What?" Sakura yelped loud enough to even wake the comatose Shikamaru, "I have _never_ been reassigned. Why is this happening?"

"What's happening?" Shikamaru questioned, slightly confused as to the commotion.

"You're being taken off the mission." Sasuke stated.  
"Oh." Shikamaru said before slouching further in his chair. He wanted to stay awake to see the attack on Jiraiya.

"Well, you see Sakura," Jiraiya started, exasperation coating his every word, "it's quite simple: you're a cripple. And, well, Shikamaru is lazy, so he wouldn't do much good and even numbers are where it's all at."

Sakura stood up in outrage. "Why to you all keep saying that? I am not a cripple!"

"Sakura, you have a cast on your leg."

"Oh, right. Keep forgetting. Maybe I should go find my crutches…"

Sasuke raised his eyebrow. What kind of person forgets they have a broken limb?

"Anyways," Jiraiya continued, "you two will be reassigned partners, another female being brought in from the other agency for Shikamaru – because it was Tsunade's fault that we had to take two people off in the first place and the replacement agent's freaking hot – and Sakura, you get another partner from this agency, one that I've taken a special interest in. Plus he's energetic so he most certainly can move you around. Even carry you if he needs to."

Sakura groaned. "Great. Another pervert. Just what this world needs."

Author's Note:

Hello! I am not dead, as you can clearly see by my posting! This, however, does not take me off my slight pause being as I _still_ haven't moved yet. I move August 15th, which means that I should start posting again soon after that, so count the days my buck-o's. I hope everyone knows just a little Spanish, well, at least enough to count to four. I can count all the way to 39 but then my memory starts getting foggy and it's just not a good thing. Questions? Comments? Concerns? PM or Story Review me! I don't bite, I swear. I just nibble a little. I've already got part of the next chapter done, so that I can be all prepared and ready to write! Some of you may be going, "Hey?! Where's her infamous, amazing, wonderful, totally delicious, and in no way creepy crack stories?!" And the answer to that, my companions, is that I started to write it and then decided to save that little savory crack story for later. Plus I wanted to get this out and when I started to write my crack story, I realized that it wasn't crack and actually went along with the plot, hence why I already have one-fourth of the next chapter done.

**MoonIdiot: **Ah! My favorite, favorite FanFiction buddy! -cough- more like only -cough- (just kidding?) I'm so glad you voted for option B! I voted for B, too! I enjoy making Sasuke say the F-bomb. It's quite hilarious when I do make him.

**Piisa:** I kind of went with option B, but you can't keep me away for too long! Gosh. I sound like a horrible, horrible, incurable disease. Ew.

**BlackRaven615: **I rather thought the shiny scrunchy was funny as well. Thanks for the review!

**MadTeen66:** I know! NejiHina slightly disturbs me (and it takes a lot to disturb me, I mean, my friend draws Johnny Depp Character Yaoi, which she and another friend invented, and I can calmly look at it without being grossed out in any way, shape or form. And this is coming from a non-yaoi enthusiast.)

**Strapplekim: **Thanks! You know, I do try to enforce the plot here, unlike my random oneshots I'll do.

**k0re777: **Really? That actually means a lot to hear that people like my story. When I first started it was just a small concept, which eventually developed into this. It's always scary to post stories, your ideas just floating out on the internet for people to read. It really means a lot to me that this story, this thought of mine, actually appeals to the people out there. Ah! Look at what you did! You got me to ramble! Sorry!


	10. Segue

Hey there, all! Yes. I finally updated. And I actually lied about the updates being less sporadic. I feel like such a horrible person. It turns out that my new school is a lot harder than my old school, especially when I had to do my summer homework in five days when everyone else got the whole summer to do it. Unfortunately, we are not going to follow Shikamaru and Sakura, but when I finish this story and I get enough requests I might make a oneshot about them or something. But here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Standard Mode.

* * *

Jiraiya had dismissed both Shikamaru and Sakura after that, saying something about how he'll contact them at a later date.

He turned to face Hinata and Sasuke. "Now, as for you two, well, the mission date has been changed. Your plane is boarding in…five minutes." He stated the fact with obvious glee, almost like their physical discomfort made him happy. "Here are your mission folders. Tickets are in your folders, good luck!" Jiraiya bolted.

Sasuke almost stood in protest because, fuck, girls can't pack all their shit in just five minutes! God, the stupid sadist was actually trying to make him fail this mission. Unless…

Sasuke relaxed back into his chair, plan formulating in his head.

He could ditch the stupid girl and if the airplane took off without her, he could work alone. Working alone would be ideal, after all. He already had his stuff packed. All he would need to do would be to go get it.

Sasuke smirked.

Working alone was for the best. In the field you can only trust yourself. Plus she probably has a stupid crush on him anyway. He could almost see her little lungs hyperventilating at the thought of spending an unlimited amount of time with him.

He reached over and grabbed a mission folder, slightly caressing the edges of the manila container almost lovingly. Sasuke was still slightly lost in his thoughts as Hinata began to speak to him in her annoyingly soft voice.

"Um…excuse m-me, Uchiha-san," her voice trailed off as Sasuke made no movement. "U-Uchiha-san," she tried again. No answer. "U-Uchiha-san!" she cried, Sasuke finally snapping out of his dream of working alone.

"What?" Sasuke was slightly annoyed. Imagine having to cut off your wonderful dream involving you working by yourself by the annoying twit you were going to ditch in just one minute.

"W-Well, I'm already p-packed. S-so if we could just s-swing by my apartment and…"

Sasuke huffed. "We have to pick up my stuff first." Standing, he moved to stride out the door, intending to, once again, leave Hinata behind. However, to his dismay Hinata picked up her own identical folder and scurried behind him.

Sasuke sighed. Maybe she was a little more efficient than he gave her credit for, but she was still no where _near_ his level.

* * *

It wasn't that she disliked Sasuke; it was just that something about him just made her want to scream in frustration.

Maybe it was the way that he rejected both Sakura and Ino. Yes, they shouldn't have latched onto him, but maybe he could have told them something else beside, "You two are so fucking annoying. Get the hell away from me."

Or maybe it was because he acts like he's so much better than everyone else. Everyone else is just there to get in the way between him and whatever he wants at the time. Almost like a spoiled child.

Or perhaps it was the fact that he could so easily fit into the role of the Prince who saves the Princess. He had all the qualification: extremely attractive, tall, and fit with broad shoulders plus, being a spy, he was trained in the art of combat.

Sasuke, however, did not see it fit to play this prince role and instead acted the way the villain does or the Prince before his character development: arrogant, rude, and manipulative. It didn't help that he didn't seem very loyal.

Okay, so maybe she did dislike Uchiha Sasuke. Just a little.

But one really cannot blame her for disliking such a horrible man. He probably thought she was incompetent, after all. It really wasn't her fault for being slightly submissive to people with over inflated egos – it was just the way she grew up.

Hinata was currently following him through the labyrinthine halls of the agency. Sure she could have made it out herself, but being at the airplane to take them to their destination boarded in five minutes she really didn't want to get lost.

"Ex-excuse me, Uchiha-san, b-but I was won-wondering if we were to t-take two s-separate cabs? We m-might be late if we t-take just o-one."

He grunted.

Oh great, another one of those silly male grunting answers. As if having her grunting cousin wasn't enough. It really is good that she grew up around Neji-nii because if she hadn't she wouldn't have been able to tell what he was saying. "O-okay, I'll s-see you at th-the a-airport."

She bolted out the door. Was it just her, or was the air around him almost suffocating?

* * *

Hinata picked up her suitcase by the handle and began carrying it to the check in center where she assumed she would meet Sasuke. She was already in character physically and almost mentally. Her ticket said that her name was Nakahito, Hitomi formally of the Takuma family and a quick glance at her portfolio said Uchiha-san was to be her husband, though how anyone would be able to stand being married to that icicle was questionable. Flipping open her portfolio to pass the time, she quickly read more about herself. Her hobbies included cooking, cleaning, and taking long baths. Not much depth, but that just gave her more of a free range to create her.

As for appearance and general personality, Hitomi was described as being quite, but confident, short, and sincere with long black hair and dark brown eyes.

All of these qualities were going to be very easy and natural for Hinata as she normally did them anyways, the toughest parts were going to be the eyes, hair, and confidence. The hair mostly because she would have to wear the wig for an extended period of time and, should the event arise, put it on quickly. And she could see why the eye color was necessary to hide as silver eyes were not that common and Hitomi was supposed to be "an average housewife". The confidence, well, that was pretty self explanatory if you knew Hinata at all.

Though the random red scribble of 'sexy' in between average and housewife did throw her off a bit. Was she supposed to be normal? Or was she supposed to be sexy? In the end normal won the pick because if she was trying to keep a low profile and gain people's trust, she couldn't be sexy now, could she. Being sexy came with the preconception of evil, sinful things, such as Grendel's mother in the movie adaptation of the epic poem _Beowulf, _no matter how nice she was_._

Besides, she was pretty sure that if she even tried being sexy she'd just come off as looking constipated. Or just the opposite.

Hinata heaved a sigh and looked at her watch. She was expecting Uchiha-san to burst through the automatic doors any second now, giving her one of his surely patented glares of death, doom, depression, and all things that started with the letter 'D' and were despicable.

The doors burst open as Uchiha, Sasuke came strolling through, rolls of doom and domination falling from him with each step he took. He glared at her as she stood there waiting for him. He grunted something that sounded similar to 'Oh joy, you're here' before stalking off to get in line to check in. Hinata mutely followed behind, sliding back into her subordinate role when a sudden thought occurred to her: Hinata disliked the letter 'D' very much.

* * *

The woman in front of him was wearing too much make-up. If make up could be used as food, between her mascara caked eyelashes and the annoyingly thick amount of foundation she had applied you could feed the entire country of Congo, including the rumored dinosaurs that lived there, and still have enough for seconds. She batted her disgusting lashes at him in an attempt to flirt.

"Hey there," she purred, looking at him from beneath her lashes, "what's your name?" She was slightly leaning on the counter, what little cleavage showed in her uniform was wedged between her two arms in an attempt to make them look bigger.

"Nakahito, Sadao." Sasuke's short reply came before quickly adding, "And my wife, Hitomi" He grabbed Hinata's arm sharply before yanking her next to him. The woman behind the counter's face dropped as she stopped pushing her cleavage to unnecessary heights. She dully typed in the characters, printed out the tickets and handed them to him.

"Have a nice flight," she mumbled glumly before attending to the next person in line with the same enthusiasm as she gave them their goodbyes in.

Maybe having a wife wasn't such a bad idea after all. If she wasn't competent he could always just use her as a female shield against other females.

* * *

The city was just what he expected: smelly, gray, and crowded. It was in these kinds of conditions that gangs formed. Obviously there was a hierarchical system to the gangs in this city as well as in others. His job is to figure out the top one, the King, if you will, and infiltrate it and bring back information so the agency could bring it down. Basically, find the largest one, become a member, rise in ranks, find out the activities the gang was doing, report, go home.

Fairly simple, but unfortunately this gang was no ordinary gang. If it were a normal gang then the police would have brought it down long ago, however, not only has this gang managed to corrupt the judicial system, it also acts like an agency.

A _spy_ agency and that, in its self, is curious enough for Jiraiya to want to figure out what the hell is going on, which is why he sent in Sasuke, probably his best spy below the age of 25, second best below the age of 30.

As to why Sasuke was actually looking forward to this mission, well, that's a completely different story. A different story that just doesn't need to come up right now.

Sasuke felt a slight tug on his shirt. "Sadao-kun? M-maybe we should g-get a t-taxi to go to our apartment?" Sasuke heaved a sigh. Still the stuttering nutcase. He had half hoped that once the mission started she'd become slightly less…annoying in her speech. His wish was in vain though as she still stuttered an blushed like normal.

He hummed in response before tucking her arm in his and guiding her down the airport hallway towards the exit, luggage in tow. He didn't really enjoy this small, under-confident girl, but he supposed it could have been worse.

Sasuke heaved a sigh. Yes, he could have had that pink-haired girl whose sole existence seemed to hinge on his every word. No doubt she would probably have raped him in his sleep several times over the duration of this mission. Hinata was definitely the safer choice.

He gritted his teeth. Sasuke supposed he should at least thank her in some small way. "Hitomi, koi," he said lowly, slightly embarrassed at having to act in love, "let me take your bag for you."

"Ah! Um, th-thank you for your k-kindness, but…" Hinata trailed off as Sasuke stopped before her, grabbing her luggage bag out of her hands and walking off again towards the exit.

"We're married now," he called back, "this is what a husband does, right?"

Hinata's blush slowly crept upon her face, but what it lacked in speed it made up for in brightness as her face was now doing a wonderful impression of the sun situated on the Japanese flag outside the window next to her. She ran to catch up to him, stopping two steps behind him.

* * *

A dark shadow moved silently down a narrow side street clutching onto a small brown package wrapped with twine twice around and intersecting in the middle. He had to make it back to his boss, or else face the consequence.

He didn't know what was in it. He didn't know the size; he didn't know the shape. He didn't know anything, and that's the way he preferred it.

All he was a lowly lackey doing lowly work in hopes of some day moving up the ranks and eventually, along the way, receive better pay. It wasn't easy work, but in this city it was either you're with the Boss and safe, or weren't and have to constantly watch your back.

As for the city, well, it was going down the tube. It was hard to meet anyone who wasn't involved with the Boss in this part of town. Those who didn't often were either children, visitors – not that there were many – or recently moved to the area from elsewhere in the city because of the failing economy. More often than not the new comers were swept into the Boss' greedy and always open hand fairly quickly. And as for those who resisted, well they often ceased to exist at all.

It was a dangerous game, but was well worth the danger; especially with the word that the Boss was looking for a successor. Someone to help run the organization while he was still around and, when he finally croaked – whether it be from natural causes or from having a little help along – to inherit the city.

Pretty much anyone could do it, he heard, just as long as they stayed true to the cause, whatever that was. The man clutched the package tighter as he splashed through a puddle. Maybe he might finally move up the ranks tonight from delivery boy to something grander. He could sure use the benefits. A door loomed in front of the man as he reached out to turn the handle and enter the meeting spot.

A small metallic click reached his ears as a small amount of pressure was exhorted onto the back of his head. "Give me the package." A gruff voice called out, pushing the gun harder on the man's skull. The man quickly turned around.

"I-I thought that the exchange place was in-inside." His stutter echoed off the damp walls and streets that made up the alley.

"Change of plans: hand it over now." The gunman demanded, now urgently pushing the gun into the man's frontal bone as the first man fumbled the package before pushing it over into the second man's hands as the first stuttered a joke about not getting the memo. The safety clicked back on and the gun stowed away in the gunman's jacket.

"D-do you think I could maybe, y'know, get a raise or something?" The man's confidence had grown an indescribable amount since the gun had been taken away as exemplified by the way he called to the second man as he strode away.

"Oh," the second man said as he stopped midway, "it must have been in the same memo you didn't get: you're not needed anymore." Swiftly the man pulled the gun back out, "Looks like you won't need that promotion after all." Safety off, the man shot twice before storing the weapon and continuing out of the alley. He scoffed. "Amateurs."

* * *

**Baby Got Crack.**

The man cackled evilly as he surveyed the work the small little device did. Entire buildings had crumbled and now lay in a pile beneath his feet and the sky was red and cloudy. He gave another cackle. Nothing could stop him now. Nothing! Not even-

"Oh my god, look! In the sky! It's two human-shaped balloons!"

"No!! It's the Wonder Twins!"

"No! You're both wrong it's the Awkward Avengers of Justice!" The two superheroes landed on a piece of rubble, their matching suits glistening in the sun which had appeared out of no where.

"No!" Shrieked the villain, "You'll never defeat me, A.A.J.'s! NEVER!" The two silently stared at him, the shorter, more feminine one cocking her head a little to the left where her partner stood in all his awkward glory. Her midnight colored locks moves slightly with the movement before settling back down. He hands were to her side as she stood there silently watching the villain.

Her companion slowly raised an eyebrow in reaction to the villain's outraged cry, his arms also pinned to his side as he watched the villain with a blank look.

"Gee…this is getting really awkward, guys," the villain started out, his right hand slowly rubbing up and down his arm as his eyes avoided contact with the two heroes in front of him. "Could you two at least, I don't know, say something?"

The silent duo blinked at him as their stares continued to bore into his body. The villain's rubbing increased. Silence pervaded the air. No one dared make a sound or movement, the rats stayed in their holes and the wind refused to blow. Everything was at a standstill. Literally.

The villain gave out a cry of anguish, "I can't take it anymore," he screamed, "I just can't! It's so awkward! Oh the awkwardness is killing me! It burns so bad!! You win this round A-A-J, but I'll be back! And next time with music and sun glasses!" The villain threw the device at the duo, the throw reaching just short of hitting the still unmoving pair, before hopping into his hover-car and driving away.

The crowd erupted in screams and cheers in front of the pair as confetti rained down from the roof tops of the undestroyed buildings. The Awkward Avengers of Justice continue to stand, frozen in their positions, their backs to the ongoing party.. The partying slowly died down.

"Um, the dude's gone now. You can move and stuff." A voice called out from within the crowd. However, despite the assurance, the Awkward Avengers of Justice did not budge and the silence prevailed once again.

Suddenly, mass mutterings of awkwardness and arm rubbing broke out amongst the crowed as they slowly dissipated back from whence they came, leaving our two heroes standing in the same position, the wind slightly tugging on their darkly colored hair as the sunset in front of them.

"Mommy," a little girl asked, tugging on her mother's skirt, "do you think they'll ever move?"

"I don't know, sweet-heart, I just don't know." The mother replied slowly, shaking her head at the two figures facing the sunset.

(A/N: Yes! I _did_ give Sasuke and Hinata superpowers!)

* * *

Look! The crack's back! Now: onward to reviews!

**Madteen66:** Well, if you're really curious you can always PM me and ask, or request a oneshot for either Sakura, Shikamaru, or two oneshots for both.

**BlackRaven615: **Really, you missed it? And you think it's humorous? You flatter me. I'm positively glowing.

**WinterKaguya: **Ha ha! Me too. What a scary thought if it turned out to be Rock Lee. Actually, not so scary as I can see myself writing that. God, I am a messed up person.

**Joycie32: **Thanks! I always love to hear good reviews on my works. Thanks for the review!

**MoonIdiot: **Yes. It shall! – evil cackle – Just wait for it...

**Piisa: **Yes! The real story begins and he shall see the sexy beast in Hinata! (Is it weird that I feel a bit like Rock Lee/Gai-sensei when I describe something as a beast?)

**Heartl3ess-kawaii: **Yes. You _did_ get me to ramble; though my friends tell me that it's actually not that hard to do…I refuse to believe them though. We'll get to the fighting all in dear time m'girl. All in dear time.


	11. Perfume

Hey all. Yeah. I'm back with this (seemingly) massive chapter (in comparison to my others). Sorry about the time. School sucks but is (unfortunately) necessary. Okay, one quick comment about a concern many of you had. I write crack stories at the end of all my chapters. What happens in these stories do not happen within the timeline of my chapter. They are purely straight out of my imagination to let off some random thoughs and/or creepiness. Same rules apply: PM/Comment with questions/concerns/words of wisdom. Pretty much anything is accepted.

**Edit:** TheBrokenQuill has pointed out an error causing me to find several more and restructure part of a sentence. Should you find any other errors please contact me _immediately_. Thanks!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it. Believe it.

* * *

Hinata sighed as she slowly pulled the sharp vegetable knife from the knife block with one hand, the other holding a few vegetables. Three weeks: that was how long she had been here, and yet, it felt like it had been over a year.

When she had signed up at her agency she had thought that she had been escaping the expectations she was forced to live up to while at home. The expectations of her father, whom after he had found her lack in skill in Business, had hoped to marry her off to the first suitable man he found, regardless of age.

Yes, while arranged marriages were no longer socially acceptable, it didn't mean that it didn't occur – particularly among the affluent. Decades of women's rights activist's hard work down the drain just because Hinata didn't really enjoy calculating profits and didn't care about consumer statistics.

He knife dully fell into the orange carrot and with a sharp crack the top of the carrot was cleanly sliced off.

As her father increasingly became aware of how much she lacked at being the savvy businesswoman he had dreams of her being, he switched over to her younger sister, changing her mathematics and economics classes over to etiquette and cooking classes, which she enjoyed more.

She was blissfully unaware of her destined fate, as her cousin would put it, as a housewife to a man who was possibly more than twice her age. Which could explain how, when an elite private school expressed interest in her, her father had jumped at the chance. The school's impeccable scores on major, government-standardized tests and formidable awards ranging from nationally-recognized origami group to ten-year undefeated Badminton team only helped persuade her father to accept. It was there that she learned the basics of how to be a spy, and there that she finally put to use the special eye trait passed down by her family.

Hinata began tediously cutting the carrot into cube shaped slivers, dividing it into half, then half again, and then once more.

It was once said that they were descendants of a powerful ninja clan whose eye qualities were almost equal to that of Superman's. They could see through walls and, while they unfortunately could not zap anything with their eyes, they could pin-point items and people from long distances with frightening accuracy as well as block of chakra points.

Now that outside blood had diluted the Hyuuga blood and weakened its potency, the only thing abnormal about her eyes were the ability to notice tiny details, such as fine print on a contract, or, in Hinata's case, small details in a scene and never once had she seen a family member with glasses or contacts in any form.

This special eye characteristic was what originally caught the attention of the private school, however, Hyuugas were notoriously unemotional. One would think that their astounding apathy towards everything and everyone, save for business, would makes them amazing spies. However, their apathy was what made them exactly not right for the job. As an agency, they need to be able to instill loyalty within their units and ultimately, were afraid that not only would they not be able to accomplish that, but also that the Hyuugas they did train would turn into mercenaries – extremely powerful mercenaries. So the agencies waited for a Hyuuga to be born who seem to, in simpler terms, have a soul. That soul was Hinata and, apparently, Neji.

The agency quickly drew up a letter of acceptance into its private school once the head found her, effectively saving Hinata from an arranged marriage and a life of housewifery.

Her chops with her knife became louder, more violent.

However, Hinata did not realized that the current assignment she was on would require her to be just that. To stay at home all day, cooking and cleaning, was not one of her top ten favorite pass times, no matter how much she enjoyed cooking. It was all just so, to put it mildly, boring. She was a spy, for god's sake! She knew how to disarm and kill a man in thirty seconds using only a rubber band and a small plastic plant!

Hinata looked down, eyes wide in disbelief at her thoughts. She felt, ungrateful, traitorous, even. How could she not? She just questioned the orders given to her by her temporary superior _and_ regular superior! Hinata deeply breathed in and out closing her eyes to entirely devote her focus inward.

She was slightly panicked by her thoughts. What if Sasuke had know what she was thinking? Would he have told the uppers?

That was another point of annoyance. Sasuke: what was wrong with that man? Every day he would wake up, stretch, train a little – just to warm up his muscles, he told her once – and then leave, returning late at night. She knew they had moved here to help take down the criminal group here, but he could at least include her in it! Plus it didn't help that every time she tried to do something nice for him, he'd scoff or smirk at her, as if he knew something she didn't. Especially that one night when she had accidentally over estimated the space between her and Sasuke, accidentally allowing herself the opportunity to smell him, which he immediately knew.

Controlling each breath, she gradually opened her eyes, only to close them again, this time out of weariness. Her carrot, which no longer resembled its name, now looked better suited to be in a cup with some trendy logo on it to be sipped up, not for the meal she was trying to make. She efficiently washed off the mess before trotting over to the refrigerator to get another.

* * *

Sasuke was in training. Or at least, that's what the criminal organization he was currently working for told him. Training – he scoffed at the word. He perpetually beat the living snot out of these "training" partners and yet they still refer to what he did as training.

Today they, the upper henchmen, told the recruits that today was something special. Today they would get to see what field work. Each recruit was to work alone and were given a special package which, if they should loose it in any way, they would be severely punished and sent back to the beginning of the training hierarchy. There were ten recruits, larger than most years, so as compensation they divided the teams up into two groups. The goal of this was to steal the other people's packages in your group and get to the check point without loosing any of the packages. There were five other people trying to steal his package from him, though at this point in his career, he had seen worse odds.

He was currently perched next to some rather gothic looking statues, scanning for fellow trainees in his group ripe for the picking.

The package as a whole was a curious thing. It was small and compact with seemingly smaller items inside, if the rattling coming from within was any indication of what was happening beneath the dark cream colored paper. He had tucked the box into his inner-coat pocket to dampen the noise.

He scoffed at the ridiculous exercise once again. It was just the stupid training academy all over again. He was ninety-five percent positive that once he reached the check point he would have to open a box and decipher the hidden code they had created 'just for him'. He had already been through this exercise and pretending that he was just natural and that he was learning it for the first time was getting tiresome quickly.

The questions around here came quickly. Good thing he was quick at lying as well, or else he would have been in deep shit. It probably also helped to have a fan club filled with whores in it to help him in keeping his secrets, not that they were aware of what they were doing.

**Why was he so good at fighting?**

Shut up Shunsuke, you're just a pathetic fighter in comparison to Sadao-kun.

**Why did he have such amazing reflexes? **

Because Sadao-kun is the best, unlike _some_ men I see around here.

**How was he able to decipher my codes so fast? There's something unnatural here…**

Sadao-kun is just a genius, Hiro! Or maybe _you're_ just _incompetent_ at creating codes!

It didn't even matter to them that he had a "loving wife, Hitomi, at home whom he (apparently) loved dearly."

In this city there were hardly any female spies worth noting, and while at first he thought Hinata would have no problem fitting in, however, it was clear after the first day Hinata would more than likely stand out and bring attention not only to herself, but to him as well. And like hell was he going to get found out within two months of arriving here.

Spotting one of the group members running through the adjacent park's dense tree line, he swiftly climbed down from his perch, silently moving along side the recruit. He needed their package as he had only managed to secure two so far: his own and one unfortunate man's who was going to have one hell of a headache when he finally woke up in his comfy dumpster. The recruit stopped. When Sasuke saw who it was, he almost cracked a smile his smirk was so big. Mina, the leader of the Sadao Fanclub, was currently right under his nose. This wouldn't be hard at all.

Slowly he stepped into the small clearing, eyes locked on the girl whose back was currently turned to him. Purposely stepping on a stick, Mina turned quickly around, her instincts telling her to move into a defensive position. "S-Sadao-kun," she breathed, her tone quite obviously one of delight before remembering her purpose. "I won't let you have this package!" Eyes still locked on her he slowly stalked toward her. Her eyes began widening as she slowly began backing away. "Wh-what are you doing, Sadao-kun?" He stayed silent as he continued to approach her. Her chest heaved, whether it was from the now slightly close proximity between their two bodies or the energy she had used to run as far and fast as she could from her last fight, she wasn't sure. The side of Sasuke's mouth slightly curved upward: her eyes were now frantically looking around as she steadily backed away from him, unaware of her current predicament.

Her back hit the rough bark of the slightly large tree hard just a few seconds before Sasuke grabbed both of her hands, one of which was reaching into her pockets for a weapon, and pinned them above her head. The bark was abrasive: the small groves began digging into her skin leaving imprints and perhaps tomorrow bruises. Sasuke slowly lowered his head towards her ear, pushing their bodies flush together. "Mina," he whispered in her ear, his lips lightly dancing over her sensitive ear, "Mina, I need your help."

She breathed out, her limbs gone limp; Sasuke knew he had her. "Yes, Sadao-kun?" She was breathing heavily now, her chest being constrained against Sasuke's, and feeling his well muscled torso against her own torso adding to the problem.

"I need your package, Mina," His voice reverberated against her body as his lips continued their dance along her ear, ever so often moving away from that area and dropping down to her neck, slowly – almost excruciatingly slowly – tracing her neckline back up to her ear, each breath gently cascading down upon her sensitive skin. She was beyond speech at this point, making a noise somewhere between a sigh and a moan she felt his hand move up the side of her left leg and delve into the front pocket of her pants, grasping the tiny white box she had been presented with at the beginning of this exercise. And the sad thing was she couldn't even register why Sadao-kun taking her white box was a bad thing.

Two breaths later, Mina's beloved Sadao-kun had disappeared and she was left with was slightly burning skin and longing.

To say that Hinata was startled when the door suddenly flung open would be an understatement. When she first heard the ear-damaging noise not only did she grab three of her kitchen knives in her left hand but she also flipped out her two unnecessarily long and sharp chopstick hairpieces with her other hand.

When she found out that it was Sasuke, due to the overwhelming amount of angst that seems to permeate from his deathly angst aura that always seems to surround him, she became bored. It was just…_him_ after all. Once she got over his extreme rudeness followed by his extreme bluntness, he was just another angsty man who only spoke in grunts and the occasional one syllable word, though that didn't stop her from stuttering around him.

"S-Sadao-kun, would you l-like your dinner?" A hum responded to her. She sighed; it was always the same with him. He followed his strict schedule of what to do, never thinking what would happen if perhaps he could vary in it just once. Wake up early, train, go to whatever it was he was doing, come home, eat dinner, get clean, read, go to bed, repeat.

Hinata bent down to set his dinner down, perhaps once again misjudging his closeness from the table as she could smell him. She frowned lightly; the scent was not the same as always. Sure there was the sweat, dirt, coupled with disinfectant, blood and a hint of detergent from his clothing, but tonight unlike the other night when she smell him the first time there was a sixth smell. It was a familiar smell, light and sweet smelling, however she couldn't put a name to it.

She pulled away; she was already sure he had figured out what she was doing as she had been setting his food down longer than normal. Taking a quick glance at his features, she was surprised to see his lack of recognition which normally would appear on his features when he believed her to be well, fan-girl-ing over him. Poor Sasuke, he must have been tired. She briefly fancied the thought that perhaps she too would be as tired as that if she were allowed to help this mission in some way, but pushed it as far away as she could as soon as came to her.

Setting her own food down, she plopped herself down into her chair, picked up her chopstick, mumbled a quick pre-dining phrase and dug in. It wasn't until the food was in her mouth, chopsticks extracted that she finally put a name to that curious smell from earlier. She paused mid-chew.

It was perfume; the smell was a woman's perfume.

* * *

He almost always thought Hinata smelled nice; he had once gotten a whiff of her as he accompanied her around town one evening. She said she wanted to go out, see what it was like out there, however, how was she to know that this night was the night that a mass homicide was going to take place just five blocks away? Obviously he had to go with her so she didn't die and he didn't have to, first of all, fake grief, and secondly deal with the tidal wave of fan-girls who would come once they knew he was single. She smelled fresh and clean, with a slight hint of floral though it was never the artificial smells of floral which came from perfume. He supposed it had something to do with the plants she made him buy when they first arrived.

Hinata smelled like his mother.

Sasuke never liked it when he came home after she was done training. Then she still hinted of her same smell, the one he liked, but more overpowering was the smell of training: sweat and blood. He didn't like those smells together at all. Those too reminded him of his mother, the only difference being that the first one was what his mother smelled like all the time and the second one being what his mother smelled like after she died.

* * *

**This is a crack story. This is not a part of the real story. I would like to title this one 'In Which the Reader Finds Out Why Sasuke **_**Really**_** Wished to Murder his Brother in Cold Blood'.**

**(I suggest you read this crack story in a pompous British accent because that's what kind of accent I wrote it in. If you don't know what a pompous British Accent sounds like, just think Narrator from _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ Movie**** or the character Chase from the TV show **_**House M.D., **_**even though he is Australian)**

Sasuke had never stayed this late before. Normally he'd stay to about 12:30 in the morning and leave, it was a rather early time to leave a party, but it was around 12:50 when all the girls would come in. He had never stayed later than that.

He had heard stories about that time in the night; horrible, terrifying stories that would leave even the most apathetic emo scarred and emotional. 12:30 was the time when they would rule. "They" were everywhere, he had heard, and had been bred since to be this way since they were thirteen year old girls.

15 minutes was all it took to get home from his usual haunting, 15 minutes. He was very careful on leaving at the correct time in order to avoid these girls. However, one night he stayed until 12:45 on accident.

He had been chatting with a very wonderful girl, rather shy, but wonderful none-the-less when he happened to glance down at his watch which unwaveringly told him the time was 12:44. Unbelievingly he stared at the watch in hopes that perhaps the numbers would reduce rather than its normal way of advancing. It did not. As the clock around his wrist click into the 12:45 position he knew he had to leave immediately. Bidding the young woman adieu, but not before getting her number, he left the club. Five minutes: that was all Sasuke had to get home.

Now, I could tell you that Sasuke got home just find, his mind still as fresh as clean laundry on a summer's day. But, you see, I respect you as a reader and cannot tell you a lie when you have done nothing to merit such an act from me.

At 12:50 precisely, Sasuke met a cat. It was a rather beauteous cat with mostly gray fur and symmetrical darker gray markings along its body and its face.

The cat looked at him.

Sasuke looked back at the cat.

The cat blinked at him.

Sasuke blinked back at the cat.

The cat mewed to him.

Sasuke mew – no wait that's not right – Sasuke _spoke_ back to the cat.

Finally realizing he had just passed the cat test of approval, Sasuke slowly advanced upon the creature, hand held out to pet him. Suddenly a blur advanced out of the shadows, tackling the poor creature with a squeal of "KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" or for those who do not speak squeal, 'Kitty'.

Twitching in horror, Sasuke slowly backed away from the cat and creature (which oddly resembled a female youth) lest he become the next target.

Continuing on his (epic) journey, Sasuke next came upon two girls sharing a book together and laughing. I don't know what Naruto was talking about, thought Sasuke, there is nothing shady happening at about now. Actually, aside from that bit with the cat and young girl, 12:51 in the morning is a rather relaxing time.

Sasuke walked behind the girls with a little, though unnoticeable to the untrained eye, extra bounce in his step. Curious to see what this book contained that was so funny, Sasuke glance at the pages, which, also curiously enough, caused him to stop dead in his tracks.

The book was nothing fancy, just a smallish published book with a light lavender cover on it sold by a dashingly dark young man in the shadier district of town. However, as our mother's often tell us, you should judge a book by its cover. The fact of the matter, aka the book, was this: the book's innards were what some would say as a yaoi fan-girls dream. There were pictures, and lots of them. Actually, the pictures themselves were not bad. They were (hardly) any nude pictures and when there were they were only the subject by himself and not with anyone else.

But that is not why Sasuke stopped. Nor was the reason why he stopped because he was secretly gay and got turned on by the partially nude/all nude/not nude at all photos. The reason he stopped was because of the subject of these photos, aka him.

Ripping the book out of the girls' hands, he buried his face into the book, flipping through the pages like a mad-man and seeing the damage done. **Sasuke Sleeping** cried one chapter while another shouted **Sasuke Showering**. A third yelled **Sasuke and Friend Together** and a forth was **Sasuke in General**. All of these were quite terrifying (especially the one where he invited Naruto over for a Sleepover once and ended up being cuddled by the loudmouth blond who has henceforth been banned from his house at night), though one single picture took the cake.

It would seem that this particular book offered a special spot to the fans, a place for fans to submit fan art of their favorite subject, him. After flipping open to this section and glancing down, Sasuke immediately fell upon the ground, convulsing with disgust and outrage. There, on the ground, lay two pictures: one of himself seducing well, himself and the other of him forced against a wall being licked by his older brother.

While Sasuke was not stable in the first place, saying Sasuke was _now_ unstable would be a very large improvement upon his condition as of the immediate moment. Sasuke was now comatose, laying not only in a hospital bed, but due to the amount of damage to his clothing and the amount of missing clothing from the two girls (once they recognized just _who_ it was who was lying comatose in the streets next to their very feet), laying in a hospital bed in a hostpital gown with no underwear on and a backwards opening hospital gown.

Itachi, being the benevolent brother that he is, demanded that he be allowed to see his younger brother in his "desperate and perhaps last times" with his camera so that he may "forever capture his youth". And so, with tear in eye, the nurses let him in, commending Itachi for his kind, caring disposition towards his younger sibling.

However, with the door shut, Itachi pulled off his camera lens, flipped Sasuke over and smiled evilly. "Pathetic brother, you should have listened to Naruto." And proceeded to snap multiple pictures of Sasuke in very, _very_ disturbing poses.

* * *

**Inadey**: I don't think I ever told you thanks for the comment, but, THANKS! And thanks for the PM as well. I'm always so happy to hear from you guys.

**La Mariposa3795**: I hope that I still live up to the awesome review you left me. I'm sorry it took forever to update.

**Lazyguy90**: Huzzah! You understood about my crack stories!

**BlackRaven615**: I know what you mean about school and its evil ways of imprisonment. This is why I suck at updating.

**WinterKaguya**: Um, I actually think I've explained all of the questions you had in the comment reply I sent you. I actually just realized that me replying to comment on the story and replying to comments in the reply to comments message is actually quite redundant and I don't know why I do it.

**k0re777**: Erm, is Unique a good thing then? I promise some fights scenes between them soon. Stupid background information, I hate you but you're so needed.

**Piisa**: Yes, I know Moo-Moo/MoonIdiot. She an I are actually quite good email-buddies. Ah, the wonders of a lesser-liked pairing community and the Internet.

**Opi Uchiha**:Look no further! An update! Amazing! I hope it continues to live up to your looking-forward-to standards.

**TheBrokenQuill**: You know, I actually read a lot of your stuff (save for the yaoi ones/Harry Potter ones). I was quite excited to have heard from you. I don't know if I told you that however many months ago you submitted this review.

**MoonIdiot**: Look! I finally did what I said I was going to! Ah, the pride of completing a task other than homework. Now then if I could just reply to your email… -.-'

**ShowMeTheStars**: But…But…my last name begins with a P! (I actually think I told you this when I replied to your comment the first time) I will give Hinata a new letter to dislike, though, as you are a faithful reviewer and I respect you. But here's my new chapter, sporadic and everything! (Sorry about your name not being with the punctuations and what not. The computer kept deleting it for some reason)


	12. Intoxication

Hey! Look another update! Okay, so I haven't gotten back to some of your reviews and, well, that's mostly my fault. I had finals just last week, resulting in intense studying and what not. It's actually quite amazing that I got this out this quickly. I think it has something to do with the fact that I am now on winter break. I will not be updating for about a month or so as family is coming to visit and taking over the room my computer is in. However I **will** reply to all reviews before the new year. As before, if you find any misspellings or anything grammatically wrong or just feel like leaving me comments please do so. I absolutely love hearing from the readers. No comments at the bottom this time. I realized how redundant responding to the comments via email as well as at the bottom of the chapter was. However there will be thanks.

**Disclaimer: **Do. Not. Own.

* * *

Sasuke couldn't figure out why the hell she wore such baggy clothing. He knew she had a figure, a rather good one at that. After all, it wasn't his fault he had come home early one day and she had forgotten to bring her clothing in the bathroom, thus leading to a very awkward and, on her end, nerve-wrecking situation involving one frozen Uchiha and an equally frozen and towel-clad Hyuuga.

And still, she continued with the oversized sweatshirts and loose fitting jeans. He couldn't figure her out. Most women would throw themselves at the chance to show every ounce of skin they had on their more-often-than-not slim bodies - perhaps even attempt to lure him in by walking around in the nude. Sasuke was not a stranger to the female form.

But everything she did drove him nuts! He couldn't figure it out! She had to like him, yet she acted like she didn't when they were in the privacy of their home. Hinata Hyuuga made no sense at all.

Or maybe, maybe she wasn't who he pegged her to be. Maybe she was a very good spy, completely competent. Maybe she even didn't like him! For once in his adult life Sasuke was filled with hope, a small one, but hope none-the-less.

Obviously he would have to create a small test, just to make sure he wasn't pinning his hopes on nothing. It would be devised of three things, and she would pass if she just did two to his expectations.

The first test was to begin immediately: pulling himself up from his chair, Sasuke passed into the kitchen where the sounds of pots and dishes being cleaned and put away could be heard. Maneuvering his way behind her as she stretched to put away a plate, he grabbed the plate from her reaching hand, making sure they touched, and completed the task for her.

He could feel her small frame tense at his presence, so close behind her and slightly frowned, so far she wasn't doing well.

* * *

"S-Sadao-kun?" Hinata called out, slightly alarmed at his sudden appearance. She had turned around and was now pressed against the small china cabinet which now seemed quite a bit smaller than it had before. Hinata's delicate hands gripped the last plate with white knuckles bring it up to her chest like a shield.

"Yes?" he replied, his left eyebrow cocked up. His body seemed awfully close…

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"Helping you put away the dishes." He said that in a nonchalant tone, but never once had he helped put the dishes away before…though maybe he's trying to turn over a new leaf. Hinata was a big fan of second chances, after all, why couldn't she give him a second chance?

"O-okay then," she agreed, taking a small breath so that she may ask him to back up. However, when she opened her mouth, all the air she had sucked in previously blew out in one breath for just as she had planned to say the words, Sasuke's previously unoccupied hands were reaching for her last plate.

While the simple action may not have seemed like such a big deal, how he did it was. Sasuke's hands were deceptively abrasive for being such a clear alabaster color, a fact Hyuuga Hinata was especially made aware of as he brushed them lightly against her uncovered wrists, tracing up to the plate, which he gently tugged it out of her grasp.

Completely out of character for him, if it had been any other man she probably wouldn't have been suspicious, however Sasuke had shown absolutely no desire for female affections, if the way he regarded the lusty glances he received on the streets with disgust had anything to say for it.

He leaned closer to her as he gently slid the plate onto the pile in the cabinet, pushing against her body and, if she sensed it right, breathing in her scent. Hinata's face, which was already flushed, turned an even more vivid hue. "S-Sadao-k-kun?" she called again, bringing her hand up to his chest and putting slight pressure against it, "You're a little, c-close don't you think?" She could smell him once again: perspiration, soap, a hint of woman's perfume, and something deep and tangy yet not cologne. Her breathing quickened in pace. Hinata hadn't been this close to such an obviously fine male specimen since her cousin hugged her fifteen years ago after a traumatic incident occurred and even then that was her _cousin_, someone whom she could never feel anything other than familial love for. Sasuke backed away a bit, just enough to see her face.

"Hitomi," his voice came from deep in his chest, reverberating through his body and into hers, "we're _married_ after all, aren't we?" Whatever little space had come between her and him was quickly depleted once again as he pushed closer again, however something was different this time. This time, not only was his body crushed against hers so tightly that she could feel every adjustment his muscles made as he pinned her against the cabinet, but now he bent his head, placing it just above her own.

Each breath he took, each _languid _and _calm_ breath he took and released, she could feel fluttering down her face in sharp contrast to the heat which was being produced by her body. His head dipped further, this time his hand joining in the mixture, moving her head to look up at him. His dark eyes smoldered as his aristocratic brow furrowed slightly in complete concentration. Sasuke's lips parted again, a soft murmur of the beginning her name escaping in to the tense night air right before her hand came up on its own accord and slapped him.

Hissing in pain, Sasuke dabbed a cloth against three small, but lightly oozing, scratched Hinata had left in her panicked hit. Damn that girl could slap. Reflecting upon the situation, Sasuke was unsure of how that happened. First thing's first: he needed to stop getting so close to her. It was her stupid scent: it was clean, fresh with the hint of flowers or spices. Perhaps it was hibiscus or maybe something mellower and not as tropical. Sasuke didn't know, and personally, was stumped as to why he couldn't stop thinking about what her scent was, why it was so addicting, and why it made him think of his mother.

He almost said her real name, for god's sake! How could he have forgotten to use a code name?

Something was wrong with him. Something was _really_ wrong with him. He didn't mean to do those things. Sasuke Uchiha does _not_, for lack of better term, _murmur_ people's real names. Sasuke Uchiha barely speaks and, if in the right mood or ordered to, seduces and has a one-night stand: never anything more and often times, to the disappointment of multitudes of girls out there, much less.

Wait…why was he _still_ thinking about this? Sasuke threw the cloth down in the sink and, leaning against the bathroom wall, glared at it.

The bathroom, as uncomfortable as it was with its florescent light and brown tile, was oddly a good place to think. Perhaps because of the privacy it offered with the sturdy lock and the lack of windows.

Sasuke thought back: the sting of her slap brought him back to the real world as he realized how close they were to each other. Her face was a brilliant shade of maroon-red and he backed off, the feel of her small yet voluptuous figure burned against his skin.

He could still feel the sting of her. He was still glaring at the cloth. He was going crazy.

Pushing himself off the wall, he flung open the door, revealing a concerned Hinata holding ice in a small plastic baggie and, with a light glare, threw on his jacket and left the apartment. He needed to move. He needed to hit something and chances were that in a city like this he could find something or someone to hit.

* * *

Hinata couldn't believe herself. She had slapped him! Slapped him! He was her partner and she slapped him. Sure he may have been acting inappropriately, but he was a man with…male…needs…

Really, she chided herself silently, the slap was a little unnecessary. She could have just, pushed him back or something. Hinata was going to, she really was, well, up until she saw his lips part and his eyes started focusing on something on her face…perhaps she had some food stuck on there? She quickly ran her hand over her chin and mouth, feeling slightly silly when little crumbs came back on her hand. Of course that's what he was looking at. No way was he even _thinking _about kissing her. Laughing at herself, Hinata glanced at the still-closed bathroom door.

Slightly frowning, Hinata moved towards the door, Sasuke had been in there an awful long time. Guilt once again ate at her innards and she desperately wished there was something she could do to help. Brilliancy struck her; she could go get ice! Ice would help with the swelling as well as any scratches her slap left on accident.

Feeling better, Hinata went to the kitchen to prepare something that might make Sasuke – and herself – feel better about the whole incident and maybe she could even talk to him about it. That is, if she got up enough courage. After all she may be a spy, but Sasuke Uchiha was pretty daunting and frightening, in her opinion. It's not every day that one is confronted with a man whose sexual aura and pride might be as deadly as every weapon on his person. Hinata lightly brushed off the incident; there were crumbs on her face, after all.

However, what Hinata chose to disregard was the size of the crumbs, or rather, the lack of size.

* * *

Light still shined from within their apartment, Sasuke noticed with interest. He wasn't sure if it was because someone had broken in or Hinata left it on for him. The door wasn't locked either. By this time, normally the door was locked, even if he wasn't home.

It was late. Sasuke prowled for hours, beating up four muggers and one burglar before he even thought about coming home. And he caught another burglar on his way back, though he didn't beat him up.

Pulling open the door, Sasuke peered inside. Nothing seemed out of place, the expensive vase which had been given as a warming gift still sat in the entry way and he could still see their TV sitting in the room across from him. He silently pulled his shoes and skulked around the corner into the living room. The cream couch faced away from him and he could see no signs of robbery, though the plastic baggie full of water slightly perplexed him. Then he heard it.

A slight whooshing noise filled the area followed by the sounds of cloth shifting against cloth. Moving around to the other side of the couch, nothing could have prepared Sasuke for the sight in front of him.

Hyuuga, Hinata: right in front of him, asleep on the couch. Her legs were pulled up to her chest and her arms were hugging a pillow. If it wasn't for the fact that he exuded testosterone, Sasuke would almost dare to admit she was cute aloud. But Sasuke was a man, a real man who rubs dirt on his injuries, invented the fire and the wheel, and would never admit _anything_ was cute, let alone some girl whom he was forced to work with. Even though, from what he could deduce, she had tried to wait for him to come back and give him ice to help his smarting cheek.

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Bending over, he wiggled one arm underneath crook of Hinata's knees while the other moved to support her back. Only slightly surprised at the lack of weight, Sasuke carried her to her futon and laid her down, gently bringing up the covers so she wouldn't catch a chill.

Shaking his head, he walked back out of the room, silently blaming his recently deteriorating frontal lobe.

* * *

A man silently shook his head outside the window. This was the first development that he had seen between the two supposed newly weds. He was slightly suspicious of the two. Newly weds…he had staked them out before and normally their actions towards the other were so…intimate he would have to look away. But this, this was strange behavior. Even the shyest girl shouldn't be that shy with her husband and the way she slapped him…

The man jotted down the happenings in his small notebook before tucking it away in his vest pocket. He knew that his boss would be _very_ interested in reading about these two.

* * *

**Meh. It's a crack story. Think of this as taking place during the part where he runs out of the house to beat people up.**

Sasuke brusquely wiped the blood off of his knuckles unto his pants. Most of it was the mugger's blood but Sasuke accidentally hit his hand on the criminal's teeth, causing the skin to break open and his blood to flood out. Glancing at the sky, Sasuke decided to start heading home, it had to be around 3 in the morning and Sasuke really didn't want to be out too late.

Climbing up a fire escape to the roof, Sasuke jumped over to the adjacent one of a closed burger joint. However, what he didn't expect to find was a stout man garbed in horizontal stripes which alternated between the shades black and white stuffing what only described as his contraband in his mouth as he was pulling it out of a non-de-script cream-colored bag. He wore a hat similar to his own build: small, round, and outfitted in black and white, though the hat obviously was black with a white ribbon around it rather than actually patterned black and white.

Sasuke cleared his throat, grabbing the man's attention. The thief snapped his head to attention. Sasuke could see now that the man wore a black mask, much like what would be on a highway man in an old cartoon, or even Zorro. Sasuke paused, glancing at the burglar's right hand which was tightly clutching his contraband. Unbelieving Sasuke slowly asked, "Are those…hamburgers?"

The thief nodded.

"You're telling me, that you risked getting incarcerated for _**hamburgers**_?"

The thief nodded again in the affirmative before drawing a breath through his meat-stuffed mouth, "You see," he began through the wads of starch and processed meat, "I am _**THE**_ Hamburglar." The thief returned back to his previous task of chewing.

"The what?" Sasuke asked again in disbelief.

The thief swallowed, "Hamburglar. You know, like a burglar who steals hamburgers?"

"I understand that," started Sasuke, "but why?"

"Well," returned the thief, "I don't really know why. It's like someone just drew me up one day and told me, 'Hey, why don't you steal hamburgers for a living'. Almost like an advertising ploy."

"So, you are a man who has decided to commit his life to stealing _hamburgers_?"

"Yes. It doesn't pay very much but," the Hamburglar said with a shrug, "what can you do about it? I am very famous amongst the fast food chains. One fast food chain even offered me an advertising deal to steal hamburgers solely from them." He closed off his bag and threw it over his shoulder, "Well, if you aren't going to be stopping me, I still have to hit up one more fast food joint before the sun comes up, so I must be off."

Sasuke looked at the man with unrestrained disbelief, "Right…"

"Ta." Replied the burglar before hopping off onto the rooftop Sasuke had just vacated.

"Yeah…" trailed off the increasingly confused Sasuke. He had a very, very negative feeling that whatever, or whoever, was up there found it extremely interesting to put him in these situations. At that exact moment a rather dismal looking cloud decided to dump its load of water right above him resulting in Sasuke's right eye to begin twitching uncontrollably.

* * *

**Thank you to: **_Lone Silver Angel_, _SarahiNia_, _. _, _La Mariposa3795_, _Inadey_, and _Winterkaguya_.

**Special Thanks to: **_TheBrokenQuill_ and _MoonIdiot_ for pointing out mistakes and helping me.


	13. Noise

A/N: Well, I guess it's that time of the half year again…the time when I finally get around to updating this story… (Haha, joke on my part!) I can't believe that the last time I updated was in December…oh wow. I'm really slacking. Well, now that AP's are over I'll have more free time to work on this. Well, after this weekend I will. Oh life, why must you be so busy? I would really like to thank all those wonderful people who reviewed last time and all those who are waiting patiently for my updating. I should really start a team to annoy me into updating sooner than every four months…anyways. Enjoy!

::SPOILER:: (in the disclaimer so if you haven't read the most recent Naruto volumes don't read it!)

**Disclaimer**: Obviously I don't own Naruto because if I did I wouldn't almost kill off one of my favorite characters.

* * *

Sasuke was officially promoted. Or at least, that's what the five hundred-thousand yen bonus and new nine millimeter caliber gun told him.

Rotating the weapon, Sasuke briefly examined the object: its serial numbers hadn't been scratched off. He ran the pad of his thumb over the uniform scratches, each number a different event. Sasuke laughed at himself silently, nostalgic over a simple piece of metal. Shaking his head he roughly holstered the piece of metal. Slowly but surely he was going insane.

* * *

The room was noisy. It was possible that the intense volume had come from just the number of women in the confined space, however the fact that there were only three women, rather than thirty, caused this theory to be false.

The women didn't seem to notice her arrival, obvious by the way they continued talking and laughing at obscene levels. Hinata took this moment to watch them. The one closest to her was small to say the least. She wasn't all that impressive, another Asian in the Asian city. However what was impressive about her was how she held herself. Graceful, poised, as if she had decided mid-ballet recital that she wanted coffee and ran away. The woman to her left was taller than the previous woman although still short. Unlike the aforementioned, this one looked to be only half Asian at most; her hazel eyes sparkled as she made a sly comment to the third who took this change in subject to blush lightly.

Hinata was supposed to be here drinking coffee, working on adding connections into her companion lacking world. Normally she wouldn't have gone, but it was clear that Sasuke would let her have no part in the sphere he lived in. And so Hinata deemed it to be an important asset to acquire some possibly beneficial relationships. These women had been contacted by the gang she and Sasuke were here to take down to welcome her to the circle. Their husbands were all members of the gang, all people Sasuke was going to have to work with.

Finally the one with the hazel eyes looked up and noticed her. Hinata took a deep breath. Time to face what has scared her since her childhood: making new friends.

* * *

The man had a drawn pale face with an overly pronounced eyebrow ridge which casted deep shadows over the man's eyes, stopping where his obscene cheekbones protruded from his face only for new ones to take their place. He was missing a few teeth and what teeth were left were stained yellow from all the nights he spent in backrooms of smoky bars and underneath them a five o'clock shadow dusted his thin cleft chin.

Sasuke squinted as the sickly man across from him pulled out yet another cigarette. Rolling it between his long, bony digits the man spoke, "So you're telling me that your boss wants to meet with my boss?" A light sneer adorned his face, showcasing his teeth even further.

With his eyebrow raised, Sasuke answered, "I believe that's what I just said."

The man frowned, finding the idea that this new kid would have enough guts to sass him on the first day preposterous. "You better watch your mouth, son," the man began, his eyes icy but his mouth beginning to smile, "or I might just cut that smooth talkin' tongue right out of your mouth." A typical threat from a typical guy you'd find in the back of your typical bar. How scary.  
"Right…" continued Sasuke. The man's grin widened.

"Or maybe," he paused as he ruffled through his billfold before pulling out a square sheet of paper and looking at it, "I'll just pay a little visit to your wife." He turned the image around, showing the picture to Sasuke before returning it to its previous position. He began to stroke the picture, "Such a sweet looking thing, nice tits and ass, how hard do you think she'll scream for you when I enter her?"

The man's eyes flicked back up to Sasuke. He was now showing all of his rotten and browning teeth in a sickening smile which was smeared all across his face. "Come on, Sadao, how loud do you think her sobbing and crying for you will be when I begin fucking her brains out?" Sasuke's eyes hardened as his eyebrow fell back into place and his head lowered. The man chuckled, "Don't like that idea, huh, Sadao, the idea of me, screwing your wife? You'd better learn to keep that mouth of yours shut if you don't want that to come true."

Head raised, the man smirked in triumph. "Now, to business," he began.

"Yes," said Sasuke, mouth creeping up into a sadistic smile, "to business." He pulled out his handgun and aimed it at the man, only slightly disturbed at the pleasure he found in the disgusting man's frightened look. Sasuke slowly walked around the table, his eyes cast down at his piece, cleaning the already shining metal.

"Ho-How did you get that gun in here? The men outside were-"

"Oh, yes, they were supposed to disarm me, weren't they?" Sasuke glanced up at the man, "I guess that's where you made your first of three mistakes: being too cocky. You know, when men like _you_ are in power, it's not too difficult to corrupt it, to infiltrate the insides of your administration. Oh, sure you brought five men, but when three of those men actually work for my 'company', it's not to hard to disable the other two and sneak in a gun, like this nine millimeter gun here, for instance." Sasuke cocked the gun, redirecting it to point directly at his head, "I guess your second mistake was underestimating me. Thinking that just because I was a new guy I wouldn't be prepared for you was a rather…rookie mistake, don't you agree?

"You know I didn't really want to kill you," Sasuke paused, delighted as a flash of hope traveled through the man's eyes which stared into the barrel of his gun, "but then you made your third mistake."

"Wh-what was that?" The man was stuttering now, his eyes getting wider with each footstep Sasuke took.

Sasuke's gun now rested against the man's temple; "You made it personal."

* * *

Oddly, Hinata was having a good time. The women were friendly and after a few minutes they even got her to laugh. Not just an amused smile, she _laughed_. Something she hadn't done since she had gotten here.

The three women, all of them being somewhat good friends, were personable if not a little bit inappropriate. Some of the things two of the women talked about seemed almost as if it were in code, the third seemingly having found a way to understand it yet did not join in on the fun. It was during that time that perverted giggles would erupt from the two women, who in truth acted like teenage girls, and Hinata would feel lost.

And then, just as she would loose interest in the conversation for lack of understanding, the women would suck her back in by speaking about something she could talk about.

The women were well rounded in their education. Chun, the one with the hazel eyes, was well versed in French, Japanese, English, German, and Russian and was in the process of learning Swedish and Finnish. Aside from the color her eyes, the she looked Asian. Half Chinese, she told Hinata, her father being some foreign man who left her mother a long time ago. The woman next to her was clearly foreign. Grace had platinum blond hair, a pointy nose, and blue eyes. Her parents were through and through British, though she had lived in Japan all her life and was now mastered in the arts of kendo, karate, and judo. The last one, Nanami, was from Japan with straight black at the bottom (which took her at least an hour this morning to accomplish, she claimed) and black eyes. Her talents lie in her ability to utilize almost anything, technology or otherwise. They were all married.

The group was waiting for one more, a man named Kabuto, said Chun, her green danced as she said his name. And, as if he had heard Chun call him, he came. He wore black round-rimmed glasses which hid his eye color due to the glare the lighting caused on it. He looked young, which perplexed her as his hair was a gray hue. "Good morning, ladies, sorry I'm late." His dark eyes darted towards Hinata. "Oh, hello there, I'm Yakushi, Kabuto. Who might you be?" And with that, Kabuto Yakushi, sat down at the table and ordered a drink.

* * *

**In Which Hinata Learns to Share her Thoughts and Sasuke Learns That Sometimes It's Just Better to Leave it Alone**

Hyuuga Hinata: shy, kind, caring, compassionate.

Uchiha Sasuke: confident, smooth-talking, dispassionate, cold

Once a year Hyuuga Hinata, current age 8, would bring lunch to her entire class. It is generally regarded as a good move, one which brings joy to the multitudes of nine-year-olds within said class. These lunches were often considered the best perk to having Hinata in your class. The lunches themselves were nothing special on the outside; however, on the inside there was a cornucopia of delicious food items. There were rice balls, pickles, small sandwiches, egg, and other small delicacies, inside the lunches. And then, mysteriously, the young girl would disappear.

Once a year Hyuuga Hinata would bring lunch to her entire class. Uchiha Sasuke generally regarded this as a good idea because it meant that he did not have to waste his resources on something as trivial as a school lunch. Each year the lunches seemed to grow in not only complexity, but also in deliciousness. Sasuke always looked forward to the day that Hinata Hyuuga would make lunches for the class. However, Sasuke was continuously puzzled over the fact that his lunch was different than the rest. Normally this would not bother him, but this year, it was freakishly noticeable.

Most of the kids would say Hinata had really out done herself. The lunch was three separate, smallish dishes of food. In the first dish there was salad and such, the second dish contained an assortment of sushi, and the third contained teriyaki chicken and white rice with an umeboshi in the middle and sprinkled with black sesame seeds. Sasuke, as many know, was not "most of the kids". In fact, Sasuke was rather disappointed with his lunch. Sure, the first third of his meal was the same, but in the second course while all the other children were munching on delicately wrapped and perfectly colored egg sushi, Sasuke received eel sushi.

At first he shook it off: perhaps she ran out of eggs and no matter what he got, food was food. But then he got to his main dish. As gasps of surprise went off among the small eight year olds, Sasuke's face turned into a frown. Rather than confronted with steaming teriyaki chicken he was confronted with another dish of rice, this one containing mushrooms, carrots, and bamboo shoots. Frowning, he examined the meal of the blond kid sitting next to him out of the corner of his eye, his slurping and chewing distracting him for the moment and watched in amazement and disgust as small bits of teriyaki sauce managed to fly across the room and onto the blackboard at the front of the room. Turning around, the idiot began speaking to him, "Hey, bastard, this chicken sure is great…huh?! You didn't get any?" Bits of food flew out of his mouth and landed squarely unto Sasuke's face, "Hey everyone!" the blond boy shouted to the rest of the class, the spray of chicken bits following wherever his face turned, "The bastard didn't get any chicken!"

Being the idiot that he was, Uzumaki, Naruto began laughing, forgetting the half chewed chicken in his mouth which promptly slid down his throat effectively blocking his airway. Sasuke sat in his chair for a moment, debating on whether or not to save him, until he realized that if he didn't he could be held liable for the dobe's death. Languidly the orphan Uchiha rose from his seat, crossed over to the boy and smacked him hard on the back. Naruto flew into his desk, tipping it over and causing it to rain over his fellow classmate and admirer, Haruno, Sakura. The room fell silent as Haruno froze, her chop sticks half way to her mouth. Okay, maybe it was a bit harder than necessary but it got the job done. With a flash the poor boy was across the room, his face having a reunion with his spray of teriyaki bits thanks to Sakura's left fist. Sasuke slumped back in his seat, mumbled a small prayer, broke his chopsticks in two and dug into his food.

Sasuke Uchiha was never one for beating around the bush. If he planned to beat his brother in a karate tournament by the age of twenty-two then life was really too short to ponder over whether or not he should ask a stupid question. This reason was precisely why he found himself at 3:25 cornering a frightened Hyuuga at the entrance of the school building.

Her eyes darted around, perhaps seeking an escape, perhaps searching for her friends to come help her. "U-Uchiha-san, d-do you need s-something?"

"Chicken" he mumbled, head pressed against his chest, fists closed tightly.

"E-Excuse me?" The young girl bit her lip as she backed away slowly.

"Chicken. I didn't get any chicken in my lunch." The Hyuuga stopped mid step.

"Ch-chicken?" Gaining her balance back, Hinata blushed and looked down at her toes as she poked her fingers together. "B-but Uchiha-san's hair! I didn't want to m-make Uchiha-san a c-cannibal…" Finally looking up, she noticed her cousin waiting by a black car searching for someone. "Ah! Neji-nii! Excuse me, Uchiha-san, but I must go! I look forward to seeing you tomorrow!"

With that Hyuuga Hinata ran off to her black chariot into the sunset leaving behind an even more confused Sasuke to gently finger his silky black locks.

* * *

**Litecloud: **Actually, no. I haven't thought about doing a collection of one shots, though I bet you I'd update it better than I am doing on this one. Something about these continuous plots gets me…I'm glad you liked my hamburglar!

**InaTiKoti**: Well, it's out now. Sorry you had to wait two months to get it. I'm really glad you think this story's awesome, I really do try.

**MoonIdiot**: The SasuHina shall come! Never fear! I have plans. Big plans. And Sasuke needs to get slapped around every once in a while.

**Lone Silver Angel: **He does, he just doesn't like to show it. I believe that in everyone there is a sweet side somewhere.

**Estheriana: **It really would have been. And if Naruto had hired the man to steal the burgers and cause Sasuke to think he was crazy…PERFECT!

**La Mariposa3795**: Pretty much. They're looking awfully shady with their non-PDA…

**SarahiNia**: Really? You think Kakashi would spy on a couple of newlyweds…oh wait. Yeah that does sound like something he would do. Really, you think it's a tie with the codenames? Wow! I really wish I knew how these things came to me…

**.**: Have I mentioned how much I love your reviews? Seriously, they brighten me up. I love how you actively participate in the story, guessing what's going to happen and such. If you keep up these great reviews I'll try to keep writing as well as I do.


	14. Metallic

Hello! I have not died (yet)! It is summer again! The sun shines, the grass dances, and the geese poop in my backyard! What gifts the great and eternal mother that is Summer bestows upon us? All that stuff _**plus** _an elusive update from me. Glorious!

Disclaimer: Standard rules still apply.

* * *

Chun suddenly straightened up from her slouched position on the couch. "Say, Hitomi," her Hazel eyes twinkled in the dim light produced from the glowing curtain, "is your husband going to be home today?"

It was one of those weird, random days where the date says it should be a perfect temperature outside but suddenly the sun pops out and says, "Hell no, bitch, Imma make you sweat like a pig". This exact situation was what brought Hinata and Chun to lie in her darkened living room, Chun's form on the couch, and Hinata's form facedown on the cool, wooden floor. Cocking her head up from its previously squished position, Hinata squinted through her tangled messed-up hair at the young woman, confused at her question.

"Um…yes. I s-suppose so, wh-why do you a-ask?" Hinata eyes crossed as she attempted to blow away a strand of hair out of her face.

"Well," Chun began again, her tone moving from inquisitive to coy as Hinata continued to try to blow that stubborn lock away from her face, "if what I hear at the public hot spring is true, you have quite the looker for a hubby."

Hinata stopped mid-huff; her cheeks still puffed out as she uncrossed her eyes and focused them onto her new "best friend". "E-excuse me?" She _had_ to have heard her friend wrong. Chun would never say –

"I hear he is hot." She once again repeated, slightly more bluntly. Still uncomprehending, Hinata stared blankly at her. Chun sighed, "You know, blazing, beauteous, banging, choice, fervent, fine, foxy, hot stuff, jiggy, mackable, mint, primo, tasty, smokin'?"

"S-Smoking?" Hinata could not figure her out, "s-sure, I guess he's p-pretty ano, 'choice', but he's not 's-smokin'…"

And then with dainty brow arched, Sasuke strode into the room, pushing back his long black sleeves, his perfectly taunt forearms glistening with perspiration from his day's work. "I'm home" his rich toned voice called out softly as Hinata quickly righted herself from her previous position on the floor.

"S-Sorry Sadao-kun," she cried out, pushing off the floor and launching herself towards the kitchen, "I l-lost track of time, d-dinner will be d-done s-soon!"

"No," he glanced over at the crazed woman who was still trying to scurry off into the kitchen, "it's fine: I'm not that hungry." Hinata's movement's halted.

Sasuke's attention shifted from Hinata to Chun, who had stood up. "Oh, never mind me, I'm just going to my own house to see my own husband where I'll cook my own food for my husband and myself" she said before scooting past Sasuke, giving Hinata a thumbs up and mouthing the words 'nice work!' and scuttling out the door.

Silence fell over the awkward two left in the room as they tried to work out just _how_ the air became that way. Hinata slumped back into a chair. The only to hear was a persistent ticking noise.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Hinata swore she was going insane.

Tick. Tick Tick. Sasuke swore he was going mad.

Tick. Tick. Crash. And suddenly the book sitting next to Hinata was missing and the room was mysteriously quiet. "Thank you" Sasuke said, surprised at her actions.

"You're welcome" Hinata said, surprised at his words. And so the two slipped back into an odd quiet comfort in which nothing was said, dinner was made, and dishes were washed. All was back to normal, thought Hinata as she moved away from where Sasuke was reading reports towards the bedroom. Hinata paused at the end of the living room, where the glow from Sasuke's lamp just barely touched, and biting her lip, wondered if she should say a quick goodnight.

Briefly Sasuke looked up, spotted her at the edge of the lamp's glow and dug up the courage to ask her the one question that had been bothering him all night: "Hitomi," her gaze snapped to his as her teeth released her plump lower lip, "who was smoking?"

Face flushed, she quickly said goodnight and ran into the bedroom leaving a very confused Sasuke with many questions and five more reports to read by himself.

* * *

"So, Sadao," began his new teammate, "I hear your wife is pretty choice." Only two weeks into the new job and suddenly everyone on his three-man team knows his business. Life was great. Sasuke sent a glare at the man, hoping that his insides would rot and his blood would boil within the next two seconds. "Kind and sweet, gentle and virtuous," he continued on before pinning Sasuke with a look, "not at all like you! Say, how'd you get a wife like her?" Sasuke began tuning him out since the rotting-innards and blood boiling didn't work out for him. "I mean, if I could have found a woman like her I would've never had married my…" It was often very helpful to have selective hearing when dealing with loud-mouthed people who can't seem to shut up. It was the end of the day, the sun was setting in the horizon and there was one less criminal to deal with in the immediate area. Really, now that Sasuke thinks about it, he and his two partners are more like a termination squad more than anything. They've even got underlings. No seriously, that's what they called them.

It wasn't until Sasuke was standing at the door to his apartment that he noticed that Sora, the teammate who refused to stop talking, was still with him. Glaring Sasuke turned and faced the man, who began to innocently whistle. Unable to stand any of the idiot's antics, let alone his whistling, Sasuke rubbed his forehead wirily, "Why are you still here?"

"I heard your wife was prime."

"That _does not _answer my question and where would you hear such a thing?"

"I want to see her and I heard it from a guy who knows a guy who was training when he intercepted the enemy's signal where another guy was describing how he overheard this one chick at the grocery store who was talking about you to your wife, who was said to be grade A beef."

"Right…and why do you keep referring to my wife as meat?" Unfortunately, just as his teammate drew in a breath to reply, his lovely wife opened the door a crack and poked her head out.

"S-Sadao? Is that you?" Grunting in the affirmative, Sasuke looked at her questioningly. Why was she waiting for him at the door? Glancing at his teammate out of the corner of his eye, he could see that whatever his teammate had thought about Hinata was way below what she actually looked like. Hell, if he could admit that Hinata was not bad looking to the average male Hinata must of looked like a Shinto or Buddhist deity.

Hinata, having noticed Sasuke's companion, had begun stuttering out an apology that they could not entertain him tonight, but having seen the marriage ring on his left hand, bade him to come back with his wife another night.

As Sora rounded the corner further down the street, Hinata opened the door wider to let Sasuke in.

Really, she didn't know how to break it to Sasuke. After all, it really was quite peculiar and more than likely bad news. Sasuke had begun to take off his shoes, one hand against the wall to keep his balance. Swallowing the nervousness that had accumulated between the time of Sasuke's friend's disappearance (who knew that he had friends?) and the present time, she began. "Um, S-Sadao?" He paused in the task of removing his shoes and glanced up at her. Hinata noticed him carefully taking in the fact that she was still close to the door and had her shoes on.

"Yes?" he answered, setting his half un-strapped shoe on the floor.

"We h-have an a-appointment with y-your boss. It c-came just a f-few minutes ago." She noticed his eyes tighten as his large hands twitched: a sign of anger. She hoped it wasn't directed at her.

"Well, I suppose we should go then." He replied undoing his recent efforts at taking off his shoes. All Hinata could do was nod in the affirmative.

* * *

Well this was a first for Hinata. As a spy she had naturally been in a great many number of interrogation cells: sometimes with people, sometimes alone. But really, she had never once in her five-year commitment with her firm come across an interrogation cell completely made of shiny metal. Yes, that's right. The table was metal, the seats were metal, the floor was metal, the walls were metal, the door was metal, even the little cups that they gave them some water in were metal. The only thing not metal was the overly reflective two-way mirror that sat in the middle of the wall across from them, though really, it might as well have been metal for all the color differentiating it did. Hinata supposed that it was good that there wasn't a window because if even just a spot of sunlight fell into the room it would blind all its occupants and turn the room into an oven. And really, if all the metal was suppose to intimidate them it wasn't working too well, being as she thought it more funny than intimidating. She would actually have laugh out loud if it weren't for the little dark cloud sitting next to her.

Yes, she and Sasuke were sitting side-by-side together in a metal box, drinking water out of a metal cup, not talking to each other. She briefly entertained that maybe they were trying to see who would snap first (would she take her metal cup and knock herself out or would Sasuke do it for her?) but then remembered that as far as they know it shouldn't be this horrible for them because they _are _married after all.

The metal door swung open for the first time in forty-five minutes as a man in a dark suit and glasses strode in. Really, who did these people think they were? If things got any cheesier Hinata would have to surely be dreaming. "Mr. and Mrs. …" the man looked down at a file he was carrying, "Nakahito? I'm sure you're wondering why you're here today in this room. We at Diamond-Back Company would like to apologize for any inconveniences we have given either of you." Hinata could hear Sasuke scoff next to her; something she would like to do herself simply from the speech the man was giving her. The man flipped a piece of computer paper covered in words. Hinata mentally died a little: was he actually reading off of a script? "The Diamond-Back Company has been around for many years and during that time period has successfully because one of the worlds leading companies. This, however, was not accomplished without careful observation of those who were and are closely related with the company. To ensure the safety of the company we casually observed the newer members of our extensive family until they have shown they can be trusted. Unfortunately, Nakahito-san, you have captured our attention during your observation period. It would seem that your," he flipped to another page before flipping back, "'lack of affection as compared to other newlyweds' has aroused suspicion in our agency."

Deadpanned, Sasuke lifted and eyebrow. "Our 'Lack of affection'? How does that even make sense?"

The man looked up for the first time during his visit with them. "Well, Nakahito-san, it would seem that there is a lack of passion between you and your wife. In fact," he paused, turning to one of the pages in the file, "your alleged wife once slapped you when you attempted to put the moves on her. Now, Nakahito-san, I'm sure you're going to insist that you're innocent and that your love is pure and I won't believe you and will eventually get to a teary-eyed confession so let's just skip those parts: tell me your real names and we'll let you go."

Hinata had been silent for most of the exchange, that was true, but really the intensity of the conversation between her "husband" and this man was enough to send her into shock. The hidden threat behind the man's words was tangible. Oh, they'd let them go alright. They would let them go in pieces to the marina.

Sasuke's brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed: "My name is Nakahito, Sadao. I have a wife and her name is Nakahito, Hitomi. We are married and have been for the past three months. My wife and I will walk out of the door to your right in about five seconds. Now, being as I am a lenient man, I will forget this little…blunder on your part as if it never happened." Sasuke, who had been sitting, stood up, his heavy metal chair screeched against the metal floor in an unbearable way.

Hinata was really too stunned to do anything. Never in a million years had she expected Sasuke to become so passionate. It was weird. It was confusing. It was exciting. Seeing Sasuke in such an emotional state like this was exhilarating. She felt almost as if she were intruding, almost like it was a secret. A secret she honestly wanted to keep to herself.

She felt long, cool fingers wrap around her wrist before being, mostly, pulled up. "Come Hitomi, let's leave." His strides were confident as he made two towards the door, her stumbling along behind him just barely managing to stutter out a yes.

"Now Nakahito-san this is exactly what we at The Diamond-Back Company are talking about. Look at how your wife staggers behind you, the meek little thing. Now you simply cannot convince anyone that there is a passion between you two: a love of any sort. You two will be going nowhere until the boss either clears you or accepts your resignation to the company." The company – life – same difference, Hinata supposed.

Sasuke's grip on her arm tightened as his brow furrowed deeper. "This is getting to be ri-god-damn-diculous." Suddenly he turned around and, grabbing her other wrist in his hand, pushed Hinata against the cool metal of the wall, pinning her to it. His long body pushed against her shorter one as his lips crashed unto hers.

Hinata's eyes widened at the sudden intrusion of her personal space before they fluttered close, her own dead lips suddenly mocking his just as fiercely as his moved against hers. A small graze of his tongue was all the warning she had before he thrust it inside her mouth and challenged her in a battle of dominance. His left hand, once pinning her arms above her, traced down her arm to her cheek where it fisted some of the hair near it at its base and pushed her further into the wall. With her hands now free, she returned the favor and grabbed his silky black locks in a death hold, one of her legs now curling around his as she tried desperately to pull him closer.

And then, just as suddenly, Sasuke ripped himself away and Hinata was returned to the present where they were in a metal box with who knows how many people watching. A deep scarlet flared up all over her as she bent her head as she attempted to use her long, dark hair as a shield, but it was too late, she had already seen the man's flabbergasted look at the audacity of the pair of newlyweds. They practically got it on right in front of him.

Sasuke smirked as he posed one last sentence: "Was that enough 'passion' for you?"

* * *

Okay guys, you know what time it is. The time where I take a completely random thought from my head and turn it into some crazy story that only barely makes sense.

Sasuke had heard the phrase 'I love you' many a time. He had heard it in many separate occasions in many different places. He heard it screamed at him from the top of some girl's lungs as he drove away from a screaming crowd. He had heard it over the radio as traveled to a new house after his old one had been vandalized with the words "I love you, Sasuke Uchiha, and one day you'll love me". He had read it in a Sunday news article underneath the Comments and Criticisms column. He had anguished boyfriends hunt him down because their partner ended every one of their conversations with, "Why can't you be more like my Sasuke?" He had seen it spell out in flowers, in candies, in balloons, in the air, and in cheeses (forty-one different types, actually) but never had he seen it done like this.

This was perhaps the most disturbing one he had received yet, but it touched his little heart. Some would call the confessor creepy, weird, absurd, but to Sasuke nothing could be further from the truth.

It's large, purple head with big cartoon eyes stared right into his scarred and malnourished soul. His bulky hands and big, green tummy swayed a little from side-to-side as he tried, uselessly, to dance. A large branch-like tail protruded from his rear, also colored that same radiant, magnificent purple as his head.

But what was most astounding, most fantastic, was not the outside of it, but what was floating from his mouth. Those beautiful words majestically rose into the air, each vowel floating on little invisible clouds and delivered into his ear with the care of a mother tucking her child in at night. And then it ended and the greater part of Sasuke's soul died. But then a most wondrous noise appeared from outside his window once more.

"I love you." it sang, its large hands opening up to Sasuke, beckoning him into their warm grasp. "You love me." That he did. Sasuke loved this creature more than anything he could possibly imagine. "We're a happy family." They weren't at the moment, Sasuke thought as he opened the door leading outside and leading to that wonderful creature, but if he had anything to say, or do, about it they soon would be. "With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you," Sasuke was now approaching the large purple animal. "Won't you say you love me to?" The creature finished it's song, arms still outstretched to Sasuke as he finally reached the dinosaur, unaware of the audience it had attracted.

"Yes, yes I will say it," cried Sasuke with many years worth of tears streaming from his obsidian eyes, "I love you, Barney. More than anything in this whole world!" And with a dramatic flourish worthy of Paris Hilton, Sasuke buried his head into the purple dinosaurs plump body as the dinosaur patted his back.

Unfortunately, as mentioned before, Sasuke was not alone. He had an audience. Well, two people, but an audience none-the-less. Their outraged gasps at the scene that had transpired in front of their eyes killed their little fan-girl souls.

"Sasuke," they cried in unison, "how could you?"

"I've told you numerous times how much I loved you. I sent you gifts, I've left you messages, and I've sent you cards! Why don't you love me?"

"What about me, Sasuke, I love you more than she does! I sent you cheese! Cheese! Nothing says 'I love you' more than forty-one different flavors of it! You said it was your favorite animal byproduct! Why don't you love me?"

Sasuke turned his head, his arms still attached around the dinosaur as he glared at the two women standing a cars length away. "Well, you never expressed it through the majesty of song, did you."

* * *

La Mariposa3795: Yes! A cannibal! Because of his hair! Because it looks like a chicken butt! I'm so silly! How did I become that way? Thank you for reviewing!

Lone Silver Angel: Um...so I didn't update soon, but at least I updated with what I consider a pretty interesting crack-story. I really hope everyone gets this one. Not everyone got my Hamburgler.

MoonIdiot: You're so kind! Really. Whenever you review, or send me anything, it fills my heart with this bubbly joy. I don't know. It's weird. I threw in the Finnish just for you, I hope you know.

SarahiNia: Thanks! I actually enjoy writing friends for Hinata. I figure she's kind of a social person, so she needs friends. And Kakashi? Hm. Maybe.

girl-of-anime: Thanks for the reivew! Glad you like the story/stories.

inadey: Um...I'm going with the romance is coming in...now-ish. There will be more. What would you have done if I just simply went: "That's it. That's all the romance my story will have. From here-on-out my story will have nothing but Sasuke, Kakashi, and Orochimaru dancing around in blue thongs"? I think I'd be murdered, personally, simply because no one wants to see Orochimaru like that.

.: You're in a university lecture and you're reading FanFiction? SHAME! SHAME! (Although I do appreciate you cheating on your studies with me) Did your name show up this time? I seriously hope so. Yes, I was talking about you. You with the starry name. Um...I'm leaning more towards protective but maybe a tad possesive? I don't know. Oh, Kabuto, so much hate going on with you. We could put you in a damp place, leave you for a month, and harvest quite a bounty of hatred off of you. I think Sakura and Naruto are a cute couple too. They fit well simply because Sakura is quick with the fist and Naruto is quick with the healing. Maybe you'll read this one in class too?

ShikaMariUchiha: Um...do I sense a three-some in your name? Or are you saying that Temari should be with either Sasuke OR Shikamaru? Because I'm still getting three-some out of it. Kinky. I hope that Sasuke's awesomeness did not deminish between last chapter and this one. Thanks for the review!

TheBrokenQuill: Um, only one of them, really. The others will come back but I only wanted one and Chun's the lucky winner! It's really a good question of why she doesn't. Mandarin is becoming quite an important language.

NotIntoIt3456: Pacing has never been one of my strong points. You may notice how throughout the story things will happen suddenly and then slow down quite a lot. It's just basically how I'm feeling at the moment I'm writing it and how I feel about the story.

blackraven615: Mmm, applesause. :] Thanks for reviewing.

Lost in Green: I actually replied to your review quite quickly and now I'm out of things to say. How sad. Thanks for the review.


	15. Stitches

**Author's Note: **Hello all! I cannot believe it is almost the end of summer! Time seems to fly so fast in my old and wizened age of less than two decades. (Or maybe it's because I've hit rock bottom in the fanfiction universe, reading material wise. I won't say what I've been reading, simply because it is too terrifying and I love you too much to mentally scar you.) Remember how summer seemed to stretch out forever? But enough reminiscing since I can grantee that's not why you're here. Most of you are here because the wonderful people who run FanFiction sent you a little message that popped up in your inbox saying I have updated. Others of you might have just stumbled upon this. Either way, you're here to read. But speaking of inboxes, can I just say that I am thoroughly enjoying the new inbox system here on this website. It is truly most spectacular and I applaud it

**Disclaimer**: I don't own it and that's probably a good thing since I am not only really bad at drawing, but new manga chapters would come out every five years instead of at the consistent rate that they do come out.

* * *

He couldn't believe it. How could he have been wrong about the Nakahito couple? He winced as he dabbed a damp cloth against his wound in an attempt to clean the blood off as he tried to gauge how deep it was. Would he need stitches or not?

One of the best in the Diamond-Back Cooperation's intelligence, the man boasted an impressive record when it came to weeding out those who wish to see the destruction of the company. Impressive as in ninety-nine percent of the time when he reports to his superior, the head of the company, that a couple is suspicious it is because they do have an ulterior motive.

Needless to say, upon witnessing the shocking, albeit inappropriate, conclusion of the Nakahito interview from behind the mirrored glass, his boss turned to him and questioned him in a hiss about what the meaning of the little display was. Just as confused as his boss was, the man began to stammer out a few words but was cut short as his boss interrupted him; "This is the second incident where you've wasted my time." His boss slowly began making his way to the door located behind the man. Suddenly he paused before the man, bringing his head next to the man's ear and, almost caressing the side of his head, whispered, "See to it that it does not happen a third time."

His boss abruptly fisted the hand that was on his head, grabbing his hairs in his firm fist, before slamming his head down on one of the few pieces of metal furniture that decorated the darkened room next to the metal box that the Nakahito couple had just vacated, busting open his head just above his brow. The boss's knee flew up into the man's stomach, blood forcing its way out of his mouth and splattering across the glass that connected the two rooms in front of him before his boss flung him across the room and into the metal wall. The man's form slumped to the ground before falling unto his side. He tried to get up as his boss calmly walked over to his prone body before viciously kicking the man in the stomach once more, the man spraying the gleaming silver walls with a fine sprinkle of red before he slumped back to the floor, groaning.

"I should be very disappointed in you if it happened again."

Throwing down his now-permanently stained cloth, he put his hands on either side of the sink he stood at and sighed. Stitches it was.

* * *

Promoted once again, Sasuke thought as he strode down one of the brightly lit hallways of his work, at least one thing had come of the experience from last night. He found it dreadfully amusing upon arriving at work only to find that the company had promoted from working on a three-man team to working as the boss's bodyguard due to the events of last night. As if I would forget about the humiliation the caused me, were I an actual employee, Sasuke scoffed mentally.

He was a proud man, one who would not take kindly to someone actually doubting his affections for the woman he actually deigned suitable enough to marry him. Although, really, being the woman-hater that he was, finding a woman like the one previously mention would be near impossible, not to mention very impractical. And so Sasuke designed that his life would be the one of asexuality. Or, more accurately portrayed, a life of emotional non-commitment.

But it still irked him how he could still see the redness of Hinata's lips from her numerous bites, how he could still feel the plumpness of her mouth as he assaulted it with his own, how he could still sense the closeness of their two bodies, and how he could still smell the maddening scent of cotton and the still-unknown flower that seemed to float around her.

Sasuke stopped in the middle of the hall, frustrated more than any Uchiha should be. Growling softly, he ran a hand through his dark locks before darting into the unoccupied next to him and closing the door behind him.

She was just a girl; get a hold of yourself! He told himself, still just as frustrated as before. Women were just physical incarnations of lust: use them and leave. They were disposable. They were unstable, perfectly fine one moment then weepy the next. Although, with the exception of that one night, Hinata seemed perfectly stable.

Groaning he turned around and banged his head hard against the wall before resting against it.

He couldn't be attracted to his partner. It could only spell one thing: disaster. Especially if the woman in question didn't reciprocate.

* * *

There were impossibly few things that Hyuuga, Hinata disliked. She disliked mold, death, and excess amounts of blood, okra, as well as eating creatures that wiggled on your eating utensil. They were still alive! One should at least have the conscience to kill the poor dears first!

But the one thing that Hinata really despised was the feeling of uselessness. Which, oddly enough, she felt right now. Reviewing her past time here, Hinata couldn't figure out a single instance where she proved to be an asset.

As far as she could see, she had just been a burden. She gathered no intelligence and stayed at home pretty much all day, not to mention how she almost blew their cover with her little episode with Sasuke.

All in all, Sasuke would have been better off without her. Granted it was a couple's society, but Hinata wasn't blind. She saw the way that the women looked at Sasuke. With his looks, and peculiar charm, she was certain that he would have been able to charm one of the women here and moved up in the ranks higher.

Hinata stood up from her seat on the couch. Look at her! Here she was, complaining about her lack of usefulness, when all she did was sit on the couch and mope! Setting her mouth, Hinata abruptly remembered something one of her new friends told her in passing: if she was ever in need of a job, she wouldn't have to look far.

With slight smile on her delicate face, Hinata picked up the phone and dialed a number she hadn't used in a while. A second ring quickly followed the first. Hinata prayed he was home. She knew it was early in the afternoon, 2:30 to be exact, but one of the first things her friend had made sure she knew was that they finished work precisely at one o'clock. On the fifth ring her friend picked up.

"H-hello!" Hinata greeted her friend, slightly pacing through her apartment, "t-things have been…hectic to s-say the least. But n-now that they've c-cool down, I've been f-finding myself becoming b-bored." A slight muffle could be heard from the telephone as Hinata's friend responded to her hinting. Hinata smiled, "As ob-observant as usual. Yes, I would like a job." She paused, her smile dimming a little before reverting. "S-skills? W-well, I once t-took a h-hand-to-hand combat class a-and my f-family were always b-big advocates of t-teaching sharp-shooting." She paused again, the muffled voice coming out more excitedly, "H-how fast do I type? I'm not r-really sure…" Personally Hinata couldn't fathom the reason why he asked, but she wasn't one to question the interviewer. Suddenly her grin turned into a full beam. "T-thank you so much! I p-promise you won't r-regret this, Kabuto-san!" Clicking off her phone, Hinata let out a squeal of happiness before collapsing back on the couch.

She supposed she should let Sasuke know her plan. Hinata sighed, that was the problem with working as a false couple, each partner had to know exactly what the other one was up to and she wasn't really looking forward to talking to Sasuke…

…Especially after the previous night's activity.

Hinata's face flushed cherry-red at the mere thought of the heated kiss she and Sasuke had shared. In no way was that Hinata's first kiss. Her first kiss had been given away while she was still in the academy while her first deep kiss had been taken from one of her targets when she was fresh from the academy and still unsuspecting.

Although, Hinata had to admit, from all the kisses she had received, Sasuke's was one of the best she had ever had, if not the best.

His lips were firm, but not overly so, and soft. They were the palest of pinks, meshing in a nice way with his alabaster skin and had a very defined shape.

Embarrassed as she was, Hinata failed the battle of will as she was instantaneously moved back into the previous night.

Sasuke's lips pressed against Hinata's once more as his body pulled flush against her. The pull of her lungs as a quick, gasping breath left her and slight breeze of his exhale on her face. Hands slid down limbs and clutched at hair as the heat increased.

Some say that kisses can transmit words that one cannot say or wants to hide.

After all, Cher is a very wise woman.

But the kiss Sasuke gave her left her dazed and confused. There was something behind it, that Hinata was sure of, but what _exactly_ she did not know. It was a mixture of something.

There was certainly desperation, but given the situation at hand and his gamble that I wouldn't slap him it made sense. Certainly the need behind it also made sense if one used the same reasons as above. But there was something else, something that had appeared in between the beginning of the kiss and just before the end. And that was what had confused her.

Maybe she'll wait until after the weekends over…

* * *

TGIFF – Thank God It's Fucking Friday. That was how the saying went, wasn't it? No? It was all the same to Sasuke, what difference was there if there was an extra 'F' in there.

Actually, never had the saying been so truthful as it had that week. From the stress of Sora, his old teammate, pestering him about coming to dinner at the Nakahito household and why Sasuke, or Sadao as Sora knew him, got promoted again when he had _just_ been placed on the team, to the odd glances in the hall, to the lusty looks from every woman in the building including the fifty-year-old secretary of an equally old man, Sasuke was beat. He was looking forward to sitting down in his "home" with his "wife" and reading reports until midnight then going to bed, not waking up until late.

That was until he saw Hinata once again waiting for him in the entry hall with every blind in their small apartment closed. Raising a brow Sasuke immediately plunged in.

"Is our presence once again requested by the uppers?" He watched in amusement, her face growing crimson, as she began to try and answer, failing miserably because she was so flustered. She took a deep breath, calming herself down.

"A-ah, n-no." He could still tell she was still flustered, "I e-expect we w-won't be hearing f-from them for a w-while." Sasuke almost cracked a smile at that. Almost.

"Well then," he said as he went through the task of taking off his shoes, "what can I help you with?"

"I w-was just thinking," she paused as she wrestled with herself, "maybe they're s-still watching us and that maybe we s-should, um, do something expect of a n-newly wed couple."

Sasuke paused, trying to figure out what in the world the woman meant. "Hitomi, are you suggesting she should have sex?"

Her face flamed up again, brighter than the last time. "N-not in so m-many words!" she squeaked. She was adorable.

Wait. No she wasn't. He did _not_ just think that.

She was annoying.

"I w-was thinking, h-how many push-ups c-can you do?" What, was she sizing him up before she slept with him?

"Many." Was all he replied, slightly insulted that she was, indeed, sizing him up.

"O-okay, so j-just do as m-many p-pushups as you c-can f-for your n-natural duration. I-if it w-wouldn't be t-too much t-trouble, c-could you t-take off your c-cloths h-here?" Sasuke began stripping off his shirt before he paused. Wait. What?

At first, Hinata was worried that Sasuke might take her proposal the wrong way. What if he actually thought she wanted to have sex with him? However, whatever god or deity watched over Hinata was surely benevolent as she was able to explain to him her plan with very few details.

Sasuke was currently on his twenty-fifth pushup, about halfway done, she supposed. Hinata was almost getting use to the close proximity of his body. Almost. As he pushed up, she could see the firm muscles that had been pushed against her the night before and for the second time in her life, Hinata was stunned at just the mere sight of a man. She was currently lying just beneath her nearly nude partner as he did numerous pushups over her underwear-clad body.

His head dipped beside hers again as she felt the sticky heat of his skin almost touch her skin and his torso just barely skimmed hers. More often than not his face would brush against hers, his five o'clock shadow grating against her delicate facial skin.

Hinata was actually happy he did this, despite the slight pain from it, as when she went out the next morning, the make-up she would use to try and cover the beard-burn would be congruent with the "passionate sex" she and Sasuke were currently having, making it more plausible.

Were she not already scarlet, Hinata was sure she would be blushing heavily right now.

As for the reason why Sasuke was on top, well, not only did it go along with her meek personality, but was actually easier and less awkward to fake.

Hinata inwardly sighed. Sasuke was only on pushup number thirty-four.

* * *

(**Author's Note: **This is not, in anyway, apart of the story above. This is it's own little…whatever it is. And now I present you with Stphne's first attempt at first person point of view. Oh, and please, _please_ do not take this seriously as most of this is against the law.)

Many would call me, Hinata Hyuuga, one of the world's gentlest and sweetest girls. However, what the world does not know is that I am possibly the world's greatest gatherer in information as well.

Am I a spy? Sorry to disappoint, but no.

I am merely a girl obsessed.

I see that you have taken an interest in this. Just for that I'm going to let you in on a small piece of advice that I am will on sharing with the world. I will give you the beginner's guide to stalking.

Point One: Phone Books Can Be Your Best Friend.

Phone books. You know, those thick, heavy novels made out of cheap, flimsy paper that show up on your door step about once a year. Sure they smell a little funny sometimes and, true, the paper feels like a mix of used tissues and cage liner, but they really help you out quite a bit.

They are simply just large, misunderstood books that hold a plethora of knowledge about almost any person you would dream look up. Well, unless that person pays to keep their name out of it. Then additional help might be needed.

For any stalker the holy grail of their life would be an actual journey into the house of their prey, more specifically their room, bathroom, or both. The phone book often can help with this.

Inside the phonebook, aside from the names of their father and/or mother, are two very important factoids: the prey's phone number and the prey's address.

Now, keep in mind that one should heavily guard the fact that they are knowledgeable of the prey's home. Some do not take kindly to that. I suggest not writing it down on paper, but immediately memorizing it. Or if you must write it down, as soon as it is memorized eat it as should a person walk past the trashcan where you threw it away or should the toilet clog when you try to flush it…well, you get the idea.

This also brings me to sub-point number one: find delicious paper. As a stalker you tend to eat a lot of paper and I find the better tasting stuff just goes down easier.

Once the information has been gathered about the prey's home location, one may chose to do a variety of things. These things include, but are not limited to, looking the house up via satellite imaging; meandering past it via automobile, unicycle, bicycle, tricycle, motorcycle, walking, running, jogging, skipping, etcetera; hiding outside the house at night; setting up surveillance of the area in case he/she might have any late night visitors; or dropping off love notes/packages/presents/clippings.

And that tip above ushers in sub-point number two: try to visit the prey's house at night as it is easier to stake out their house when the sun is not giving away your position.

Now some of you non-believers or those faint-of-heart out there maybe going "But Hyuuga-sensei, the phone book is so large! There are thirteen different people with the same last name as my beloved! How will I ever find my love's name within the mass of information?" Well luckily for you I will address it now.

To make finding things easier, the phonebook has listed their name not only be alphabetical order, but also next to the name is the area the person lives in. Simply figure out where the person of your affects lives and you're more than likely golden. If not a little calling might have to be done although make sure to block any caller Ids your beloved might be using.

Actually, many schools are beginning to publish what they call "School Directories". Now, don't be fooled. These directories are simply just miniature phonebooks, which actually makes our job much easier. It is recommended that you use the school directory over the regular phonebook. Which actually reminds me of sub-point number three: phone books are heavy. Try to avoid dropping on any part of the body lest you become disabled and therefore can no longer sneakily follow your prey via the bushes.

Thus we conclude Point One: Phonebooks Can Be Your Best Friend.

* * *

Oh, for those of you who want to influence where the crack stories go I have a quest for you. Try to find the oddest pithy saying you have heard/read/said and send it to me in a review or message. They don't have to be famous. Unless you like the moronic things my brain comes up with, then you don't have to do anything. Anyways: onto reviews! (Is it bad that I can't remember if I replied to these already in message form?)

**Stars: **Ha! I'd like to see my computer delete _**that**_. I fear that my computer shall forever hate your name and force me to condense your name as aforementioned. I give up, my computer wins. If you would like to be referred to as something else just tell me. I feared that I was transparent. I have never been one for subtleties in my writings. And how do you feel old? I'm less than a year younger than you! Maybe we're both old…

Oh, Barney. I used to watch him in Preschool and Kindergarten, although the times I watched him in Kindergarten were totally on the sly since Barney was no longer cool by then. Sesame Street was deemed okay though. Erm, I don't think I've heard of Humphrey B. Bear. Or maybe I have…he sounds oddly familiar. Thanks for reviewing!

**MoonIdiot**: If I ever do want to add in some Finnish into my story I will most certainly let you know. I think everyone was like, "Jesus Christ, Stphne, where the hell is the Sasuhina that you promised?!" I'm pretty sure people were starting to make effigies of me.

**Lone Silver Angel: **Oh, Barney. You leave so many speechless with your giant purple head and loud proclamations of love.

**Inadey: **Yes, all except one accepts them, but who that single individual is remains a mystery. At least until later, when I choose to reveal it. (Because I'm evil like that.)

**BlackRaven615: **I really hope that people like Chun. I didn't want her to become a Mary Sue of sorts, although, I'm not sure if Mary Sues can be secondary characters. Do Mary Sues have to be main characters? I assume they can be secondary…I'm going with they can be secondary. I'm trying to make her develop. My sister ate all my applesauce. I was very saddened when I found out. I'm glad everyone liked my Barney one. Hopefully it makes up for this one, which isn't too good if I say so myself, but I just couldn't think of a good crack story!

**.Chan: **(Tiny Coco Chan. Just in case your name disappears like poor Show me the Stars.) Thanks for reading all fourteen! Was it in one sitting? I hope it was. That's the only way to read fourteen chapters. Kind of like books. Got a novel that's almost a thousand pages long? One sitting. It might take all day, with multiple trips to the bathroom and naps inbetween, but that's the only way to read it.


	16. Meat

Hello everybody! Merry Christmahanakwanza! It would seem I'm back, but between the business of College Applications and actually being involved in after school activities for once in my life (not to mention procrastinating on homework) it seems I've been neglecting this story. I shall do it no more this year! Welcome to Chapter Sixteen. I must confess: I have been doing other stories aside from this one, which makes me an unfaithful author. But I shall not post them on Fanfiction until this one is completed! I swear! (Though you are forewarned that they have nothing to do with Naruto at all. They are from a different fandom)

**Disclaimer:** All belongs to Kishimoto and those who publish this manga and produce the anime. I own nothing but these very vague ideas which float around in my head.

* * *

Oh, they were getting good, the man thought as he tucked his binoculars back into his jacket. He couldn't shake it off – the couple just felt weird to him. Sure, the man had better things he could be doing like the twenty other people he had to clear, but he couldn't stop it. The Nakahito couple just captured his attention. His lips twitched into a delicate frown. He needed to catch them and he needed to do it quick.

He slid the dark mask back over his face, a smirk taking over the slight frown. At least I have more time to observe them together, he thought, giving their abode one quick last look before he jumped off the side of the building unto the adjacent one.

* * *

Today was her first day at work. Kabuto-san had given her instructions to dress in office attire and so she had. Running her hand over her blouse, Hinata flashed a triumphant smile. Finally she was going to start helping instead of hindering.

Hinata bit her lip as her mind wondered back to the previous night. Sasuke hadn't taken the news very well. It seemed everything she did was just a nuisance for him. Naturally he didn't say this, but it was more in the way his intense eyes would flash her way, the pupils melding with the iris as he stared at her trying to stutter out a phrase.

Maybe she was just being paranoid, though. But she really couldn't help shake the feeling of displeasure she sensed when he looked at her.

Ever since the kiss, the passionate, out of control kiss that swept her up and shook her around two nights ago everything Hinata did was different. She found herself cooking with more tomatoes just to watch the corners of his crinkle in pleasure as he bit into her well-prepared dinner. She would dream about the taunt red flesh of the fruit as her knife bit into it. She would wake up in the morning and couldn't help but let her sight be drawn to his face to see how defenseless his face looked without his imposing glare.

Basically, Hinata was finding herself _attracted_ to this asshole and there was nothing she could do about it.

Staring at her reflection one more time, she smoothed out her skirt before twisting her long hair up and securing it back with two sebon. A couple of raps on her door brought her attention to the time. Sasuke was telling her they needed to go. Spinning on her heels, Hinata strode over in her three-inch heels, ready to tackle the day.

* * *

Sasuke didn't like this one bit. They were all just…staring at her. Like she was a piece of meat. And the worst part about it was that she was oblivious to the whole situation. To say that his new job was just the thing he needed to complete his mission would be a lie.

A man as large in the underground scene and the head of the Diamond-Back "corporation" needed more than just one bodyguard. Currently there were at least three obvious others. First there was himself. As a new member, Sasuke was the least trusted and as such was the furthest away from the boss.

Just a tad bit closer to him was Jugo. A young man of unknown origins, he some how ended up working with the company, whether it be by will or force no one knew. He was mostly a calm and tranquil man, but had outlandish mood swings which caused him to be classified as legally mentally unstable.

Third was a loud-mouthed man whose grayish-white hair was not entirely unlike a certain teacher he had at his old academy. While he was an excellent swordsman, his technique was at best flighty. He was sadistic and perverted. His need to kill caused him to egg on his teammates and disobey orders.

Finally there was Karin. At first she seemed indifferent towards Sasuke, set solely on tasks set unto her by the boss. This bought her the prestige of becoming the right-hand-man in training. However, after seeing "Sadao's" capabilities at being well, able to do stuff other than bother her, she became infatuated, despite his well-known status of being married. Sasuke knew he was hot shit, but crap, sometimes the girl just needed to keep her hands to herself.

As for the undercover bodyguards, well, there were at least two of them that he was sure of. First off was his lovely "wife". She was hired for secretarial skills, but Sasuke knew that his past secretaries had been more than just people who could write in shorthand and type at one-hundred words a minute. Although his need of a secretary was something that had just recently occurred as it would seem that just prior to his promotion, his old secretary was met with a very unfortunate and tragic accident.

And then there was Kabuto (or, as Sasuke knew of him, his wife's closest male companion, unbeknownst to the general population). The man was slick. His white hair and glinting glasses did nothing for his smarmy attitude. He was smart and he knew it. Kabuto was undeniably the boss's right-hand. If there was an event going down within this corrupt company, Kabuto knew about it three-months prior to anyone else.

Now, Sasuke's boss was not a kind man. He had numerous facilities which ranged from methamphetamine-producing trailers to large laboratories out in the middle of nowhere where animals, and sometimes even kidnapped humans, became test subjects of unspeakable vileness. On top of his general seedy and disgusting character, the man had a fondness for serpents. The obvious give away would be the fact that he named his company after one of the better known species; however the man exuded a snake-like essences into the very air about him, an essence he wasn't entirely too please to have Hinata hanging around in.

Orochimaru – the man that he would soon take down.

"Damn, Sadao, how'd you end up with a fine piece of ass like that?"

"Yeah, Sadao-kun, why did you choose that whore over me? I mean, the way she's typing on her keyboard is practically pornographic!"

Kabuto was currently showing Hinata how to use their computer system for anything that Orochimaru should need. He was pointing at the screen, using his finger to demonstrate what he wanted Hinata to click on. Glancing back at her he said one more comment, causing his wife to burst into laughter. Cue left eye twitch.

* * *

Hinata wondered around her shared apartment humming slightly under her breath. Today had been a fascinating day. Upon arriving at work, Hinata had received nothing but compliments and careful teaching. The entire day Kabuto had stayed by her side, gently explaining the systems and often cracking jokes at the expense of their frustrating and often time very unreliable accounting system. Luckily, Kabuto said that she would very rarely have to work with it and instead would just be needed to regulate Orochimaru-sama's daily schedule and ensure that he met his daily requirements nutrition wise.

Oh, and should it be necessary, to protect Orochimaru-sama with her sharp-shooting skills.

Normally they'd put someone who was rather good at hand-to-hand combat nearest to Orochimaru-sama, however, with the addition of Sasuke to the bodyguards, they had felt it more useful to add someone with sharp eyes onto their team.

Sometime long ago it was said that her family had the ability to see into a person's body, through barriers, and long distances as well as the ability to possess a 360 degree view of the world around them, save for a small blind spot. However, the legend continues, as the bloodline was passed down through generation, intermarriage between non-Hyuuga and Hyuuga caused the line to weaken considerably until the only trait left of the great power was the ability to see objects clearly over long distances, however, this was also highly weakened. On a more positive note, no matter how long any Hyuuga stays alive, they will never become near-sighted.

Unfortunately, Sasuke seemed even more upset than previously. The entire day at work, Hinata would at least try and greet Sasuke as he passed by her desk, but he would always ignore her. That man just made no sense.

Finally she meandered by the Kitchen, still slightly humming. Hinata supposed it was about time to make dinner. With a sigh she headed into the room only to be met by probably one of the most peculiar sights she had ever seen: Sasuke in her frilly housewife apron cutting vegetables. The imposing man had frozen when he sensed she walked in, knife poised over the vegetables. His eyes met hers in a moment of intense silence.

Suddenly he jerked the apron off of his lithe body as he harshly set the knife down and threw the feminine material at her. Hinata was unsure, but she could have sworn that there was just the slightest tinge of pink on his cheeks just before the unnecessary frills of the cursed apron obstructed her sight.

Humming slightly louder, Hinata picked up the knife Sasuke had been using and continued his cutting.

* * *

**CRACK STORY! SKIP IF YOU WISH TO AVOID MENTAL BRAIN ANGUISH!**

Sasuke blearily opened his eyes. Something was off. Something was very off. Glancing around the room, he groped with something he could pin it on. Was it the lighting? No, no. That wasn't it. The sun pour into the windows without the hindrance of blinds, just as he always kept them. Despite the lack of privacy, it allowed him to rise with the sun.

Perhaps it was the contents on the dresser? No. Once again that was not the case of the off-ness that pervaded the air.

Could it be his hair? He had recently pulled a rather vicious prank on Naruto and wouldn't be surprised if he had raw eggs all over his wondrous locks, or had a distinct lack of hair. Sasuke sat straight up in his bed, rubbing his ebony locks viciously, but they felt the same as normal. Realizing his stupidity, Sasuke realized that his great fighting skills (and Naruto's lack there of) wouldn't have allowed Naruto to cause any harm to him during the night.

Scratching his chest sleepily, his fingers touching a pleasant silky material, Sasuke came to the realizations that he was puzzled. What was wrong? There was _something_ wrong, Sasuke felt it and an Uchiha's sense of off-ness was never wrong – another special ability passed down from the generations before him. If only they had provided the ability to immediately know what the wrong thing was!

Frustrated, Sasuke swung himself out of his bed. He was stumped. He was slightly stupefied. He was…constricted?

Glancing down, Sasuke was immediately aware of a stretchy, black material which covered his entire torso. Normally this wouldn't be so alarming and Sasuke quite often wore the color black. In fact, his daily wardrobe only contained white, gray, black, and navy blue, hence why this fact wasn't so shocking.

No. What was shocking was what the material formed: a leotard. Sasuke Uchiha, every man's man and every woman's wet dream, was wearing a very tight, very constricting, black leotard straight from a music video. Something he was certain he was not wearing the night before.

Tugging on the material lightly, Sasuke heard a soft click. Head jerking up, Sasuke instantaneously located the source of the noise: a digital camera located in the hands of one Naruto Uzumaki.

"Hey bastard," the little wretch called out to him, "Nice clothing! I'm so glad that I'm able to share it with everyone, believe it!" And then Naruto fled, cackling evilly and shouting to the world about Sasuke-bastard's recent fashion choice.

Unfortunately, those were the last words Naruto ever spoke.

* * *

**Coco-chan**: Oh dear, one sitting? What about learning?! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter so much. I was worried people wouldn't really like it and discontinue reading. Thanks for staying with me though! I know I'm not the most reliable updater.

**Winterkaguya:** Dirty! So dirty! I actually don't know if I'm going to put a lemon in here. I mean, I've written lemons, but that was mostly to see if I could do it so I did it with a pairing that I liked but didn't necessarily read too much. I feel SasuHina is just so much more innocent than NaruSaku. (I mean, Naruto's a pervert anyways)

**NotIntoIt3456:** Thanks for reading and reviewing! And yes, those people will become very important to the story. That's actually probably the most spoiler-ish thing I've ever told anyone…it seems I may be loosing my touch.

**Stars:** My computer just hates the world. I just worry that it might commit suicide so I try to spend as much time with it as possible so that it won't try to off itself. I mean, it definitely has nothing to do with the fact that I'm you know, enjoying the internet…anyways. Thanks for reading!

**Claudia:** I've updated! Finally! I'm glad that you think it's well written and has a good plot. I always worry about that. Thanks for putting my anxiety to rest for a while. Now if only I could become better about updating… -.-' Thanks for reviewing!

**Lost in Green:** Ah, I enjoyed the pushup thing too. I mean, in the first place, pushups are _super_ difficult and then it's Sasuke doing them half naked…well, you get the picture. Thanks for reviewing!

**Sephiria Chronos:** That's a really cool user name. Does it mean anything specific? I'm glad so many people found my pushups so funny. I feel Sasuke wouldn't like me very well right now, though…

**La Mariposa3795:** Um, no. But that would have been pretty good too. It's mostly since they were under constant surveillance and stuff…well, you get the idea. Thanks for reading!

**Kibagaraalover18:** It really is. It seems our Ms. Hinata isn't quite as innocent as she seems. Thanks for reviewing!

**Jen:** Thanks! I'm glad that I seem to be getting the general approval of the fans. And thanks for reviewing too.


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